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Sonic's 20th Anniversary teaser trailer will end wars

Certain people you just can’t please. And by “certain people,” we mean Sonic fans. In the hedgehog’s two decades on this earth he’s garnered an incredibly broad fan base from 16-bit platforms, 3D games, comics and TV shows. Meaning poor Sonic has to cater to several different sects of conflicting expectations, that’ll ultimately leave someone unreasonably dissatisfied. But that’s not gonna stop Sega from trying!


 

Obviously, Sega’s latest approach to appeasing fans, Sonic the Hedgehog 4, blatantly sucked because Sonic’s pupils were a different color. This we know! Also, he wasn’t fat enough. And “Where’s Amy?!” cried some idiot somewhere. So in honor of Sonic’s 20th anniversary, Sega’s reaching out to multiple factions of whiny Sonic fanboys to give them the best of both worlds, as you’ll see in this trailer which is every bit as awesome as it silly and hilarious


Above: One of these Sonics is blatantly better than the other! Can you guess which one?! 

Are you happy now?! Sega’s gone and crossed over two universes most of you probably had no idea were even mutually exclusive in the first place. Now fans can have their green eyes AND their paunchy tummies IN A SINGLE GAME!!!  You know, so as to retain what’s truly important to Sonic game?!


Above: All the difference in the world 

Sega should be commended for its attempt at pleasing every Sonic fan, but this is still one of the goofiest moves I’ve ever seen a company forced to make by its own malcontent audience. Rumored to be called “Sonic Generations,” I’d wager to bet there’s millions of Sonic fans who can’t even perceive the difference occurring here. Seriously, can you imagine how baffling this concept will appear to a new or casual Sonic fan?!  Either way, I’m amusedly excited!

Apr 7, 2011

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35 comments

  • SuperSDizz - April 12, 2011 4:09 a.m.

    So they finally decided to let the original Sonic out of the dark torture chamber they were keeping him in for over a decade.... I'm sure SEGA could find a way to screw even THIS up, but I'd rather stay positive. The quality of Sonic games has gotten...a little better in recent years?
  • SolarPoweredShitMachine - April 9, 2011 4:36 p.m.

    All they'd need to do is make a game based on the SatAM cartoon (or the Archie comics) and it'd sell a fuckton of copies. That or make a HD remake of 1, 2, 3&K and CD on one disk.
  • super0sonic - April 9, 2011 10 a.m.

    I never knew how much i missed classic sonic until i saw him in this video.
  • burnyoureyes - April 9, 2011 1:50 a.m.

    Note that they don't seem suprised to see each other... Maybe a younger brother? Clearly some relation other than species, although I cannot claim to be an expert in the field of blue hedgehogs.
  • KdotLo - April 8, 2011 12:43 p.m.

    Nothing pleases the Sonic fans, unless it's a remake of Sonic 1,2,3 or CD. Sega should just re-release remastered/remixed versions of those games over the course of the years, like how Nintendo has been doing with Mario (All-Stars, SMB Advance, SMB DX, etc.) That way, the old fans are happy and Sonic Team can continue to pump out crappy new 3D ones.
  • DrFred79 - April 8, 2011 11:16 a.m.

    Who is this green eyes Hedgehog, another lousy Sonic Pal ? The older version is so much cooler !
  • SlinkyDink - April 8, 2011 2:28 a.m.

    I wish I had a Genesis growing up so I could appreciate Sonic. I bought the xbl arcade versions and can't get in to it. Though I still plan to try harder one day to like it.
  • Z-man427 - April 8, 2011 1:55 a.m.

    I'll say when I say about every Sonic game. "This will be a game."
  • Shinn - April 8, 2011 1:27 a.m.

    They really nailed the 3d Sonic levels in Sonic Unleashed, but the werehog missions made it impossible to play. I would probably pay for a re-release with those missions removed.
  • JBizFoShiz - April 8, 2011 1:20 a.m.

    worst case scenario: it's just another skin you'll be using in the latest sonic game. best case scenario: it's a great re-imagining/re-releasing of O.G. sonic games. keep the story stupidly simple, sonic and pals are all mute (MAYBE dr. robotnik can talk), and keep amy as far away as gamely possible and we might be cooking with gas. not charcoal. f*ck charcoal.
  • JonnyJon - April 8, 2011 1:15 a.m.

    Im kinda excited to see what they're gunna do with this. But Im more of a fan of the old sonic and I liked how they had his arms moving while running instead of them just flung back like the new sonic, idk it just looks stupid to me.
  • SadFace - April 8, 2011 12:46 a.m.

    Oh Pudgy Sonic, we had some good good times. Nobody said both Sonics are going to be in the game, it just looks like an advertisment for the 20th Anniversary to me. I'll be buying whatever they come up with though. Also, how am I supposed to type the Greek letter "psi"?
  • UFAlien - April 7, 2011 11:36 p.m.

    Wow... firstly, weird. Secondly, the old Sonic design looks kinda stupid in 3D.
  • Imgema - April 7, 2011 11:34 p.m.

    I think recent Sonic games have much bigger problems than his eye color.
  • DiegoUK - April 7, 2011 11:14 p.m.

    Sonic can do no wrong in my eyes.
  • markshell - April 7, 2011 9:51 p.m.

    I hate the slim green eyed Sonic. The old chubby version looks much better.
  • superkeijikun - April 7, 2011 9:48 p.m.

    GREEN EYES! LONG LEGS! THIS GAME SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!
  • Triscuitable - April 7, 2011 8:58 p.m.

    Sega's first mistake was deciding to create a 3D Sonic game. Then they added a (terrible) fleshed out plot, with CHARACTER ORIGINS. Oh god. I like the old Sonic, because the new characters, it's gotten out of hand.
  • Evil_AppleJuice - April 7, 2011 8:45 p.m.

    I still think that Sonic should be rendered with abs and gigantic calves with all his running. Appease the audience and give him a dull gray environment and a dark past, and of course give him guns! Thats what people want right? Oh wait, they already did that. Nevermind then.
  • IceHawk79 - April 7, 2011 8:44 p.m.

    Is this coming out for Wii :(

Showing 1-20 of 35 comments

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