SFX Spurious Awards

Cardboard RoboCop , alien ear muffs and sci-fi pimped rides

SHAMELESS BUT INGENIOUS PRODUCT PLACEMENT OF THE WEEK
One of the characters on Syfy’s new show Alphas has an interesting power. As his boss explains: “Gary is our transducer, which means that he can read a wide range of frequencies, including television, wifi and cell phone transmissions.” Autistic Gary quickly adds, “Except for Nokia. It’s a different protocol.” Just a handy factoid? Or a clever way of subconsciously telling conspiracy nuts, “If you want your texts to stay secure from eavesdropping mutants, this is the network for you.”

HOUSE PROUD WEREWOLF OF WEEK*
* Minor spoilers for those not up to US speed with Teen Wolf
A werewolf is on the loose in the high school at night, chasing newly-bitten Scott and his mates around the corridors. Much blood, destruction and random violence against doors ensues. And yet when the police arrive and Scott tries to tell them the janitor has been killed, the police say they can find no evidence. So, we missed the scene with the werewolf, mop and bucket in hand, who does a bit of tidying up, then? Not to mention witnessing his DIY skills with all those broken doors…

WAREHOUSE 13 SPURIOUS-O-RAMA OF THE WEEK
We’re sorry. We’re really, really sorry we have to do this. Because here at SFX we’re actually very fond of Warehouse 13 , and the first episode of the new season was a little cracker. But if you’ve been following Spurious Awards since the start you’ll understand that another reason we were excited about the return the show is because it’s always a Spurious goldmine. And blimey, it delivered this week.

First up: SCOTT PILGRIM REMAKE OF THE WEEK

Next: FAILED ATTEMPT TO CREATE A TARDIS OF THE WEEK

And then: BAD SAMARITANS OF THE WEEK
Awarded for the moment when new boy Jinks collapses in a hotel and needs mouth-to-mouth from Myka (which is a good initiation ceremony by any standards). Meanwhile, none of the multitude of people in the foyer show a blind bit of interest. The callous (not paid to react, just mill about) bastards.

Finally: SUSPICIOUSLY ORGASMIC MOANING OF THE WEEK
We’re still slightly disturbed by the fact that the holographic consciousness of HG Wells gave a little moan of pleasure every time Myka passed her hand through it…That's some weird subtext going on there.

Welcome back, Warehouse 13 . The Awards panel has missed you.

PIMPING OF THE WEEK
Got a spare $350,000 down the back of the sofa? (Bet that makes the sofa uncomfortable to sit on.) Then why not splash out on this Star Wars -pimped 2008 Lamborghini Murcielago LP 640? Brian Zuk is the Star Wars fan who came up with the idea and got the car ready for the Goldrush Rally 3 from Denver to Los Angeles. “The wrap features Clone Wars -era Jedi Order crests on the passenger side, Galactic Republic/Galactic Empire crests on the driver's side, and an overhead view of an R2 unit on the car's roof (very handy for repairing the V12’s hyperdrive).” But how fast can it do the Kessel Run?

PIMPING OF THE WEEK RUNNER UP
And while we’re in an automotive mood, how about this? Ford accepted the challenge from the Australian version of Top Gear to create two futuristic Mad Max concept cars to celebrate the revival of the movie franchise.

STEAMPUNK MAKEOVER OF THE WEEK
Forget My Little Pony mash-ups, Sad Keanu and planking – giving K9 a steampunk makeover should be the latest internet meme. Not sure if Sydeian was influenced by the one at the British Library at the moment, but we rather like the “Victorian Biscuit Tin” look.

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More Spurious Awards on the next page…

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BUS STOP OF THE WEEK

CARDBOARD CITY OF THE WEEK
Why wait for Hollywood to remake RoboCop when a theatre group in Austin, Texas has recreated the film on a fraction of the cost, mainly thanks to copious use of cardboard. The Old Murder House Theater team – hot from their similar success with Back To The Future – has now given the Verhoeven classic a recyclable makeover, with sets, props and even special FX all made from cardboard. There’s even impromptu musical number, “I am a RoboCop”, set to Basil Poledouris' theme music and live action trailers for period movies like Free Willy , Matilda , and Mission: Impossible round out the experience. Looks like ED-209 could give you a hell of a paper cut.

SUPERHERO POTTER OF THE WEEK
Beware of spoilers for Deathly Hallows Part II.

OLD MASTER OF THE WEEK
This wonderful image of a Star Destroyer invading John Constable’s painting of Salisbury Cathedral has been popping up on various sites this week. We could be pernickety and point out that Star Destroyers aren’t actually atmospheric ships (they’d hang in the air exactly they way bricks do ) but it’s such an awesome image we don’t really care. We’re not sure who created it, but it appears to have been originally posted here so click on the link and show your appreciation!

HAITUS PROJECT OF THE WEEK
So, what did Chuck ’s Zachary Levi get up to in the gap between seasons? He guest starred in the latest mini-epic from Team Unicorn and managed to get some not-so-subtle product placement in for Nerd Machine at the same time.

SUDDEN CHANGE OF HEART OF THE WEEK
Dell’s product finder website started the week with this logo…

And finished it with this one…

Hmm, could it have anything to do with ripping off Portal 2 ?

MOST AMAZING GAME YOU’LL NEVER PLAY OF THE WEEK
This stunning Star Wars game isn’t really a Star Wars game, and you’ll probably never get to play it. It’s called Fleet Commander , and was designed as a college project for use with TacTile, a 52-inch multi-touch LCD tabletop display, and has been ported to a 20-foot wide multi-touch LCD wall. Because it’s a non-commercial project, designer Arthur Nishimoto of he Electronic Visualization Laboratory at the University of Illinois at Chicago has been able to stick in a few Star Wars ships. Presumably, though, he could similarly use ships from any franchise. Finally, we could have that Star Trek vs Star Wars space battle! And let's stick Moya, a TARDIS and the Red Dwarf in there as well. Does he do requests?