SFX Spurious Awards

Rory tribute, X-Muppets, assassins, Lego apes and loads more spuriosity

QUEEN COVER VERSION OF THE WEEK
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Of is this “Bohemian Rhapsody” getting a geek makeover? The results are a mixed bag, to be honest, but for every line that scans like a broken sonic screwdriver or strangulated rhymes like “Blur” and "Luthor” there’s a moment of genius, and the ending is so bittersweet you may have a tear in your eyes from sheer empathy.

ANOTHER POSSIBLE ARC PLOT OF THE WEEK?
Some naysayers in the SFX office are claiming that this latest Doctor Who mystery can be explained as a light reflecting off the TARDIS console. But your esteemed Spurious Awards committee thinks differently. During an early TARDIS scene in “The Doctor’s Wife” a mysterious red spot briefly crosses over the Doctor’s face not once but twice. We reckon it’s another piece of Moffat script jiggery-pokery, and the cliffhanger of episode seven will reveal that there’s been a sniper hiding on board the Time Lord’s time ship all season. You mark our words – it’s the deadly assassin all over again. Beware the red spot of Rassilon.

EYE SURGERY OF THE WEEK
Bet he wished he gone to SpecSavers. The climactic sword fight in Game Of Thrones has to rate as the best battle of the blades ever seen on TV.

MISSING MONEY OF THE WEEK
After ten years of waiting to see Clark in the Superman costume on Smallville, the producers of Smallville blew it completely. Instead of the money shot we all wanted, we got a dodgy CGI Supes looking like he’d been animated by Aardman. and an oddly bungled shirt-opening “S” reveal. We reckon they were just too cheapskate to make a new costume just for one shot, and Welling didn’t fit in the Brandon Routh costume, so tried to fudge the issue, which just left us thinking that the “S” stood for “SWIZZ!” But they could have made a costume and recouped the costs by selling it on eBay afterwards, surely?

MEMORIAL OF THE WEEK
A fitting, moving, sensitively apt memorial (courtesy of zerobriant ) for one of SF’s most loved and most-missed characters. Oh, hang on, he’s back again, No, he’s dead again. Wait a moment… It’s available as a poster (click on the link) if, as zerobriant, South Park’s producer’s don’t sue him for copyright infringement first.

The station then shows a scene in which Wheatley calls Chell, “fatty fatty no parents”. “Did you hear that?” exploded WBTV’s indignant Brigida Mack. “The character in the popular kids’ video game is actually taunted for being adopted.”

“It literally pokes fun for not having parents,” adds Stapel. “It throws the most ultimate question that child is ever going to have for you right into the living room.”

What a shame they were all clearly so incensed they didn’t actually listen to the exchange that followed (which could even be heard in the clip they used in the report).

Wheatley: “All right, so that last test was seriously disappointing. Apparently, being civil isn’t motivating you, so, let’s try it her way, all right, fatty? Adopted... fatty! Fatty fatty no parents?”
GLaDOS: “And...”
Wheatley: “What?”
GLaDOS: “What exactly is wrong with being adopted?”
Wheatley: “What’s wrong with being adopted? Um, well, uh... Lack of parents?”
GLaDOS: [to Chell] “For the record, you are adopted and that’s terrible, just work with me.”
Wheatley: “Some of my best friends are actually orphans...”
GLaDOS: “Also, look at her you moron. She’s not fat.”
Wheatley: “I AM NOT A MORON! Just do the test, just do the test.”

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Portal 2

STREET SIGN OF THE WEEK

IRRESISTABLE INNUENDO POTENTIAL OF THE WEEK
It’s Ian McKellen playing with himself.

UNLIKELIEST SUPERHEROES OF THE WEEK
First class crossover, courtesy of Rahzzah , created to commemorate 21 years since the death of Jim Henson.

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MORE SPURIOSITY ON THE NEXT PAGE

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MCGYVER TRIBUTE OF THE WEEK
An X-Wing fighter made from office supplies. Should become staple of any future space opera. Click here to see a step-by-step guide.

MOVIE PITCHING SESSION OF THE WEEK
Apparently this spoof on what a Jerry Bruckheimer movie pitching session is like, created by filmmaker Nathan Gotsch, has been doing the rounds at Disney recently. Deadline reports that director of development at Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures sent an email round stating: “That sh*t is funny as f**k…We’ve all watched. It went around the studio. Nicely done, team awesome.” Great to know film execs have such a fluent command of the English language.

TOUR OF THE WEEK
What a universe comprised of settings from Studio Ghibli films ( Laputa , Howl’s Moving Castle , Princess Mononoke ) looks like using Minecraft .

BATTLE LA REMAKE OF THE WEEK
We much prefer this version.

LEGO GEEKERY OF THE WEEK
Original Donkey Kong recreated in plastic building bricks, courtesy of Fantasticrob Murray .

UNEXPECTED GUEST STAR OF THE WEEK
It’s like you can’t move for dead assassins in video games these days. A familiar body of a certain creed turnd up in Witcher 2 .