SFX Spurious Awards

RoboTot , resurrections, mysterious small ads, smutty sign language and a rubbish Merlin action figure are up for awards this week

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE WEEK

Don’t worry, spoilerphobes. This Spurious Award may be from the episode of The Event that’s airing in the UK tonight, but it’s only from the “Previously on…” segment so we’re not giving anything away. You may recall that last week’s episode had the spinechilling cliffhanger where all the dead passengers from the air crash started to come alive again. Pretty major, huh? Mr voiceoverman doesn’t seem to think so. In his slightly bored-sounding voice, he intones, “the over 200 dead passengers had a strange turn,” like they had a touch of the vapours or went down with a chill, something a few smelling salts could cure. Good grief, if the world blew up, would he describe it as “an unfortunate inconvenience”?

RUBBISH ACTION FIGURE OF THE WEEK

On last Saturday’s Merlin , Morgause told Morganna to create a doll of Arthur to enable some witchiness or other to stop him completing his quest. But we can’t help thinking she’d have more success if she’d used our office Arthur action figure… Or perhaps not. Maybe if she was trying to put a hex on Fred from Scooby-Doo?

MISPLACED SMALL AD OF THE WEEK

In this week’s US episode of Chuck , Ellie is trying to work out what’s wrong with this small ad. Could we suggest that maybe it’s in the wrong section? You’re not likely to flog a car in amongst the property ads…

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

SFX popped along to the Bristol Watershed earlier this week to attend an absolutely brilliant workshop presented by Monsters director Gareth Edwards, where, among other things, he revealed how at one point during the South American shoot he was put up in a hotel room next to a tiger enclosure, while at another location, they had to keep secret from the stars that there had just been a prison riot where several inmates had been decapitated and their heads stuck on public display. But the quote of the evening came when he was asked about internet complaints that his movie doesn’t have enough monsters in it: “There’s more monsters in Monsters than there is shark in Jaws – I know, I’ve timed it.”

LEARNING THE FUN WAY OF THE WEEK

Everybody who was at the BFI launch event for Misfits series two this week now knows the sign language for “anal sex” thanks to Jonathan Ross. Wossy was compering a Q&A session and was delighted to discover that it was being signed by a very nice lady for the hard of hearing in the audience (which was slightly odd because the screening of the first episode itself hadn’t had any titles, or, indeed, said nice lady popping up at the bottom right of the screen). Wossy’s first instinct was to say “anal sex” as soon as possible just to see what it would like in sign language. The answer – well, even if you didn’t know sign language, you could probably have had a pretty good guess.

HALLOWEEN COSTUME OF THE WEEK

Obvious we know, but it has to be said. Welcome to RoboTot, the future of law enforcement, when his balls drop. Because we know you like cute, there are loads more where this came from, and a description of how the costume was made and a great story about the how the real Detroit police reacted. One question, though: should parents really be letting kids this young watch RoboCop ?

BEST USE OF THE PHRASE “DOUCHEBAG” OF THE WEEK
Right, let’s get this clear from the start. Although we’re Spurious Awarding this, we are totally, 100% behind Mr Sulu George Takei’s sentiments in this video. But be honest, you had trouble suppressing the giggles every time he says “douchebag”. It’s priceless, and probably the point. It’s almost saying that anti-gay guy is so beneath contempt, he’s not even worthy of serious moral outrage – he’s only worth taking the piss out of. And Takei does it with such style. One thing, though. Are we missing something or is that Countdown Clock counting upwards?

WEDDING RENEWAL VOWS OF THE WEEK
Bruce Campbell and Ted Raimi preside over an Evil Dead themed wedding vows renewal ceremony for a bunch of zombies. We’re sure there’s some deep social commentary in there somewhere. Or maybe just too much alcohol. And is it just us, or are those two giant hands doing a really bad job of creating shadow bunnies on the back wall?