Catastrophe incoming! There’s a giant asteroid heading your way, a bit of it has already broken off and crushed the scientists who were supposed to be tracking it, and now nobody really gives a damn except you and your star-gazing granddad. Mankind’s only hope is a special asteroid-smashing wristwatch, as sold on a TV shopping channel for the bargain price of just 5,000 reward points.
The problem is that the only way to earn those points is to buy loads of useless crap for actual money, and the only way to get money is to take a different menial job every day, possibly for the rest of your natural life. Meanwhile your family and friends sit around at home, watching a bit of TV, occasionally stirring to remind you that you’d better get busy because the asteroid is on its way and everyone is doomed if you don’t start bringing home the bacon.
And it’s all downhill from there. As interestingly presented as Job Island may be, it’s just another collection of standard minigames, many of which are hampered by poorly explained controls and the asteroid-imposed time limit that discourages experimentation with the more difficult jobs. You choose one of nine each day, and it’s possible to make more money from them by replaying them four or five times until you’ve unlocked a harder difficulty level. Some jobs are very confusing, others ridiculously easy.
Sometimes a character will pop by to offer a bonus job that pays better if you fulfill certain criteria but may bring the asteroid closer if you fail. You can spend reward points on items that buy you a few extra days, although looking at the shopping channel costs you an entire day of work anyway. After a couple of hours you’ll realise just how long this thing is going to take, and how many unremarkable minigames you’ll have to endure to see the end. When we ran out of time, granddad used his super powers (eh?) to deflect the asteroid and grant us an extra week – then took half our points and money as compensation. What an utter jerk. You can stuff your job!
Mar 18, 2009
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