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GamesRadar Ultimate Character Battle! - Day 4

Eight characters enter, one character leaves. Find out who claims the title on the final day of our tournament

Words: GamesRadar US

 
FROM: Disgaea/The Internet

Etna Googles herself out of curiosity and is overwhelmed by the sheer volume of fan art that depicts her getting it on with giant enemy crabs for massive damage. Horrified, she closes the browser window and opens her email, only to unwittingly open an attachment that instantly sends all of her personal information to Latvian gangsters. Her identity is stolen, transactions are made and her credit rating is so badly ruined that even her suicidal army of Prinnies leaves her.

She spends the next 20 years in front of the Dark Assembly, arguing unsuccessfully that the internet is a series of tubes and as such should be filled with acid until such time as it's been "purged." She loses the court battle, but goes on to live a full and happy life. The internet wins - but at what cost?



FROM:
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction/Mortal Kombat series

WHOAHHHH, CHINESE NINJA WARRIOR
WITH YOUR HEART SO COLD
SUB-ZEERRROOOOOOOOO
WHOOAHHHHHH, YOUR LIFE IS A MYSTERY
WHY DO YOU WEAR THE…
MASK?
SUB-ZEEEEEERROOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


(If you don't get the reference we just made, watch this video for about 40 seconds)

Yeah, you know what? We're just going to go ahead and give this one to the Hulk, thanks.

 




FROM:
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction/The internet

PUNY INTERNET RICKROLL HULK. PUNY INTERNET PHOTOSHOP HULK'S FACE ONTO HORRIBLE STRETCHED-ANUS PHOTOS. PUNY INTERNET SPAM COMMENT SECTION OF HULK'S BLOG WITH ADS FOR WEBCAM PORN. HULK SMASH PUNY INTERNET! RARRRRGHH! HULK SMASH PUNY PLANET!

HULK TYPE THIS IN COLD VACUUM OF SPACE!


ABOVE: HULK FINALLY FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE WEBCAM! HULK ALSO NOT WEARING PANTS.

HOW YOU READ THIS? HOW HULK POST THIS? HULK NOT KNOW. HULK NOT CARE. HULK ONLY CARE THAT HULK STRONGEST. HULK WIN!

 

Huh, so the Hulk won? Does that... Does he even count as a... he does? Really?

Well, shit.

So it looks like we're all dead then, seeing as Hulk smashed the planet and all. And the internet doesn't exist anymore, so we're all out of a job and you're not actually reading this right now. But don't worry, we'll probably all be brought back to life in a few issues, when it's revealed Hulk actually destroyed Shadow Earth-127 or whatever. In the meantime, Hulk is our...

 

Jul 3, 2008

 
20 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Coolbeans69  - 10 months 6 days ago 
Hulk shouldn't have won
Da-Ku  - 9 months 29 days ago 
the internet shouldnt exist as a fighter
evildevil2  - 6 months 21 days ago 
"PUNY INTERNET RICKROLL HULK. PUNY INTERNET PHOTOSHOP HULK'S FACE ONTO HORRIBLE STRETCHED-ANUS PHOTOS. PUNY INTERNET SPAM COMMENT SECTION OF HULK'S BLOG WITH ADS FOR WEBCAM PORN. HULK SMASH PUNY INTERNET! RARRRRGHH! HULK SMASH PUNY PLANET!
HULK TYPE THIS IN COLD VACUUM OF SPACE!
HULK FINALLY FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE WEBCAM! HULK ALSO NOT WEARING PANTS.
HOW YOU READ THIS? HOW HULK POST THIS? HULK NOT KNOW. HULK NOT CARE. HULK ONLY CARE THAT HULK STRONGEST. HULK WIN!" HUUUUULLLLLKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!
evildevil2  - 6 months 21 days ago 
...lol
evildevil2  - 6 months 21 days ago 
third, and fourth... and now fifth, and now a triple comment, sorry
theschwartzb  - 2 months 27 days ago 
the...
....hulk
............won?
WBxRelentless  - 2 months 26 days ago 
really...
out of all the cool plot-lines and stuff..
you picked the hulk?
what a let down.
but cool article(s)!
Yossarian  - 2 months 7 days ago 
Did this ever get finished?
Person5  - 2 months 6 days ago 
to yossarian...yes it just did Hulk won unfortunatelly
superninja  - 2 months 2 days ago 
omg this whole thing is retarded
GamesRadarBrettElston  - 1 month 12 days ago 
God I love this. It's stupid on purpose.
somerandomchap  - 1 month 10 days ago 
Hey i read this ages ago but had no account so i couldnt post, this article was awesome well it still is. WIN!
DeathByGamer  - 1 month 4 days ago 
This is all batshit hilarious.

What were you guys on?
VMPSaberwolf  - 1 month 3 days ago 
This is great, have you considered doing another?
kompressorlogik  - 1 month 3 days ago 
this is goddamn perfect. i wish i could've observed its conception.
BLOODmuffins  - 20 days 59 minutes ago 
this contest is irrelevant. everyone knows that the best video game character ever is ryu from shenmue. when they make shenmue 3 it will be so awesome cause he will kick so much ass and everyone else will die of shame
lava_lamp  - 15 days 15 hours ago 
possibly my favorite thing you guys have ever written
secretsearcher  - 14 days 9 hours ago 
bs. sly cooper should have won it all.
lukel127  - 13 days 14 hours ago 
The companion cube doesnt melt!!!! its fire proof! The cube would own everyone because they get so bored watching it they die. Or they love it so much they die for it. Cube 4 life.
Narudude360  - 9 days 8 hours ago 
Wouldn't wanna give you up, wouldn't wanna let you down--" SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 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