Become a prison guard and spank bad girls into shape. In Hell. From the makers of Disgaea

Okay, so it's not quite the prison game Nathan asked for in his feature the other week, but hey, at least someone's trying something, right? The someone in this case is Nippon Ichi, developer of the ultra-hardcore Disgaea RPG series, and the something is Criminal Girls, a new top-down "RPG Where You Punish Girls" for the PSP, which has just been revealed by details leaked from this week's Dengeki PlayStation magazine. Hold on to your minds folks, for they are about to be blown. This one registers about a 9.7 on the "How Japanese?" scale...

In Criminal Girls, you'll play a prison warden. A prison warden of a female prison. And assuming that isn't already the coolest thing you've ever heard in your entire life, that prison IS ALSO HELL!

Now I presume that most of you are taking this news with the WTF sense of incredulous irony I am, but this being the internet I know it's naive to assume there won't be a few people getting excited about this in a very bad way. You know, the kind of bad way that leads to years of repression before inevitably letting it all out, then going a bit too far and getting arrested as the result of a nationwide manhunt. So just to weedle those folk out, I'm going to give you some more details. Just let me know who I need to back away from when I'm done.

There are seven main prisoners in the game, each representing a different one of the seven deadly sins. It's your job to take each of them in hand and rehabilitate the crap out of them until they're ready to rejoin the real world. And by 'rehabilitate', I mean 'get all sexy with', because you'll be have the option of punishing them with spankings, and well as be able to reward them for good behaviour with massages. But just to clarify the absolute innocence of these scenes, I want to add that we've also heard they'll make use of pixellated distortion on-screen to mask 'certain areas' Nothing to worry about though. Probably just the girls' faces if they look under-age*. They being criminals and all.

Quirky fun romp or nightmarish filthsplosion? It remains to be seen exactly what tone Criminal Girls takes, but in the meantime, give us your rampant speculation, internet. Day one purchase, or will you avoid it for fear of having to sign a register afterwards?

*Of course they'll look under-age.




  • philipshaw - August 5, 2010 10:34 a.m.

    All I can say is Oh Japan, you have done it again
  • HawtKakez - August 5, 2010 3:44 a.m.

    I've seen a scanned page of a preview of this game in japanese and I hate to say that I am somehow disturbingly interested in this game. Just to be clear, I'm not someone who plays games like this and I really doubt that this game will make it to the shores of the good old U S of A. But, and sadly enough, if this game made it, my morbid curiosity just might get the better of me.
  • Cyberninja - August 5, 2010 2:29 a.m.

    if its from the makers of disgaea it makes in a wierd way that they would do something like this
  • stevengibson - August 4, 2010 11:31 p.m.

    sigh..its either gonna get banned of stripped down b4 it enters us shores. and strangely i hope it does these politicans already jumping on everything else the last thing we need is 4 them 2 put japan style anime games under the microscope...ill really loose it then
  • RottingAnjel - August 4, 2010 9:47 p.m.

    Buying it
  • Chickenfoot - August 4, 2010 7:02 p.m.

    Haha. If this is released in america, Jack Thompson will have a friggin hemorrhage.
  • Corsair89 - August 4, 2010 6:34 p.m.

    O_o Only in Japan...
  • reverandglass - August 4, 2010 6:17 p.m.

    looks awesome. 3DS version could be the best thing ever!?!
  • dphoenix192 - August 4, 2010 5:22 p.m.

    Despite my love for the orignal Disgaea, I really can't believe that NIS has sunk this low. I really hope that there is more to it, otherwise this is just wtf.
  • RebornKusabi - August 4, 2010 5:20 p.m.

    I'm beginning to learn something about my adult gaming life, especially after getting hooked on BlazBlue recently, and that is that while I can't stand Japanese-centric games like I used to in high school, I DO like games that are so insanely and violently Japanese that there is practically nothing like it available at the time, at least in North America. I'm interested to see exactly how much gets transferred over when ported to North America though.
  • CH3BURASHKA - August 4, 2010 5:17 p.m.

    *heavy breathing* *also, Link running through water*
  • Kisokuiki - August 4, 2010 5:14 p.m.

    Of course, they'll never translate it, which is really too bad...
  • Chickenfoot - August 4, 2010 4:25 p.m.

    I call your bid and raise you the seizure episode of pokemon.
  • joshin69 - August 4, 2010 4:23 p.m.

    This will end up banned everywere but Japan, bets on!
  • Blastotron - August 4, 2010 4:16 p.m.

    If it's NIS, I'm in. Let's start the Hype Train rolling!
  • bradmillow0 - August 4, 2010 4:13 p.m.

    Why is it only on the PSP? Too bad...
  • JohnnyMaverik - August 4, 2010 4:12 p.m.

    O.o That sounds mildly amusing... but are they actually guna be asking money for this? If so, it better have a lot more depth than how your describing it, and really fking great writing.
  • Thuris - August 4, 2010 4 p.m.

    I fully support this glorious game. It's EXACTLY what we need to get this stagnant industry going again.
  • Chickenfoot - August 4, 2010 3:49 p.m.

    Sigh, what is this, i don't even. What's next japan, a hi-def remake of custer's revenge?
  • Hobojedi - August 4, 2010 3:48 p.m.

    No screenshots of the game yet?

Showing 1-20 of 26 comments

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