8 characters you would never trust with your kids

Games make great babysitters, but the characters within would be best kept at least 200 yards away

American parents love to pretend that their innocent little darlings have never heard of curse words, let alone learned the very best ones from mommy and daddy. Despite the fact that it's naive and stupid to believing that kids don't know how to swear, even we would think twice before exposing our offspring to the portal of profanity that is Isaac Washington's mouth. It's acceptable when he's blasting zombies in the face during House of the Dead: Overkill, but let's not start effing n' jeffing in front of the sprogs, eh?

This angry young detective is so impressively coarse that he actually manages to fit more F-bombs into a sentence than he does regular, PG-rated words. His indecent vulgarity approached Olympic levels, and for that he must most certainly be congratulated, if not paid outright homage. Even so, we'd prefer it if our little'un didn't hear the F-word so much that it becomes almost as banal an exclamation as "Oh my!"

If only Washington could replace the naughty words with "Zounds!" Nobody says zounds anymore.

The Origami Killer

He's got plenty of experience working with kids, he's dedicated, he's resourceful and his ability to fold paper into smart little animals would surely be a great way to win over the tots. There's just something about the guy we can't entirely trust. We can't put our fingers on it, but something tells us that he may not be trustworthy.

That said, he does have excellent references, and he seemed to do a great job with Martha's kid. Apparently, little Billy hasn't made so much as a peep since this guy looked after him.

What the hell? HIRED!

Apr 16, 2010

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