1. The top film is always predictable
The Godfather. Citizen Kane. Empire Strikes Back. It's never Return Of The Living Dead or Sword Of Doom, is it? Why? Because, whilst taste is subjective, there are around ten films that are socially accepted as the greatest ever made and poll votes are all about the social acceptance. If everyone stuck their true favourite in the top slot of their form, we'd be hailing Predator as the best film anyone's ever seen.
2. The number of films isn't representative
For every single film in a top 500 list, we reckon we could argue around 5,000 that are just as deserving of that particular position. Because the list total is always random and has no relation to the actual number of films that have been released since the birth of cinema, there's no way of creating a list that doesn't ignore great movies.
3. 'Of All Time'
It's not of all time, is it? Jesus didn't fool around with a Super-8 when he was a kid, there isn't a lost classic from that well known auteur Marty Triceratops and - last time we checked - the Aztecs didn't get around to creating a CGI masterpiece. So why are we being told that your list is the greatest of all time? You're compiling a list of the best films made after the 1880s, at least be honest about it.
4. No-one is ever happy
If you've ever sat in front of a movie list and declared that you agree with every entry, you have absolutely no passion for film and we hate you more than movie lists. Sorry about that. For true film fans, polls are frustrating. No-one likes exactly the same films, that's what makes cinema so brilliant, so why are we so keen to put them in an order no-one's ever going to agree on? Which brings us to...
5. Rubbish films sit alongside brilliant ones
It's not just that we disagree with some of the entries in your best films of all time list, it's that several entries make us want to scream at our computer screen like Freddy Krueger's just walked in the room. We do not live in a world where Saw deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as The Seventh Seal, no matter what you try to tell us. Which brings us to...
6. There's no filtering
Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a fun film, and would certainly be near the top of our list of best Bob Hoskins flicks. And we're glad it's someone's favourite film since the 1880s. Really, we are. But is it better than The Thing? No, it is not. Oh, and while we're here, putting the film you saw last week 490 places above a film you've loved since childhood? Not cricket.
7. We love reading them
Put a movie list in front of us and we'll read it. Whether it's on an official website, a personal blog, in a magazine we admire, or a rag we despise. Whether it's the top 100 Wilhelm Screams, or the best 15 best Anna Faris films - we'll read it. And enjoy complaining about it.
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