15 Greatest American Pie Moments

Room for another slice?

Enter Stifler

The Moment: Steve Stifler makes his presence felt in the opening film in the series, inviting Jim, Oz, Finch and Kevin to his graduation party in the most dickish way possible. "Ya coming to the party tonight Ozzie, ya fuckface?" he begins, before laying into the rest of the group for still being virgins. "How about you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them!"

Best Line: "I'll see you guys tonight. I'll look for you in the 'no fucking' section. Hahaha!"

All By Myself

The Moment: With Michelle in the bath and his laptop handy, Jim treats himself to a spot of "self loving" before being disturbed midway through by his young son. Flushed with embarrassment, Jim beats a hasty retreat to the bathroom, only to find Michelle up to the same thing with the shower head. Will these people never learn to lock the door?

Best Line:
(Jim, to his bemused son) "You're opening doors now?"

Bachelor Party

The Moment: American Pie: The Wedding might be the weak link in the series, but it can still boast a couple of great set-pieces, including the sequence in which Jim inadvertently brings Michelle's parents into the midst of his surprise bachelor party. What follows is an increasingly desperate attempt by the would-be groom to disguise what's actually happening. Needless to say, it doesn't exactly go smoothly.

Best Line: "Yes, why don't you two go check on the dogs and… no, no, don't check on the dogs, they're fine…"

When Nature Calls

The Moment: Having boosted his reputation by paying Jessica to peddle a pack of lies about his supposed sexual prowess, Finch is now walking tall around the halls of East Great Falls High. That is until Stifler throws a laxative-shaped spanner in the works, undoing all Finch's good work in one fell swoop. Back to the drawing board, eh Finch?

Best Line: "Right this way, sir," grins Stifler, directing Finch into what he thinks is the gents'. Naturally, it's the ladies'…

Generation Game

The Moment: Stifler makes it his mission to get Jim's Dad back in the game, plying him with booze and encouraging him to find some "quality vag". However, Stifler's plan goes out of the window when Mr. Levenstein bumps into his old lady. "I'm Stifler's Mom," she says. "Ohhh," comes the reply. "I'm Jim's dad."

Best Line: "I want you to dust off that old dick of yours, go out there and get some ass!"

Doggy Style

The Moment: It's unquestionably the silliest set-piece in the entire series, but nonetheless, the scene in which Jim and Michelle's wedding guests bear witness to what looks like he and Stifler giving the family pooch a good seeing to is still hilarious. Understandably, there are a few screams…

Best Line: "Stop enjoying it so much," yells Jim at a whooping Stifler.

Your Turn

The Moment: Stifler is convinced that the women who own the house the guys are painting and decorating are lesbians. Having been discovered spying on the girls, they're offered the chance to watch them strip and make out… provided they're willing to do the same thing. Heroically, Jim and Stifler step up to the plate…

Best Line: (Oz, who's bagged a spot at the top of a ladder, in order to watch the show) "Uh, Kev, you can look."

Sticky Situation

The Moment: In a moment of sublime physical comedy, Jim mistakes a tube of superglue for a tube of lubricant before contriving to get one hand stuck to his penis and the other to a VHS of a porn movie. After struggling with the shower, phone and door handle, Jim ends up in police custody. As if the original situation wasn't tricky enough…

Best Line: (Whilst on the phone to a medical practice) "Hi, I kind of, uh, superglued myself to, uh, myself."

Thanks, Dad

The Moment: Having spent the evening in the emergency room with his glue-bound son, Jim's Dad gives his son a bit of reassurance in one of the series' more heartfelt scenes. "Y'know, you may be 'Jimbo' or 'Jumbo' or 'Jimbodini" to these guys in here," begins the older man, "but I want you to know there are two people who still remember where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you, son." A very touching speech, until…

Best Line: … he caps it off with, "don't forget your penis cream."

Down In One

The Moment: Stifler finally gets his comeuppance in the first movie when he takes a girl back to his room and looks well set to get some action. Before the festivities begin however, he takes a swig from a glass of beer that was standing on the bedside table. A glass of beer laced with semen. Understandably, Stifler doesn't feel much like partying any more…

Best Line:
"Relax… take it slow… and let the good times roll." Good advice, Steve. Now put down that beer.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

George is GR's resident movie news person, based out of London. He understands that all men must die, but he'd rather not think about it.
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