Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers - hands-on

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Does that mean they only kill bikini-wearing zombies?

When deciding which game should sit on the illustrious Wii previews page we reached a zombie-scented fork in the road. Do we cover Onechanbara or Dead Rising? Hands-on with Capcom’s effort sees it shaping into a disappointingly wonky ride, so we opted for the underdog.

Combat is no great shakes. Or rather it is great shakes and little more than that. While slender cowgirl Aya picks from one or two swords, her demonic sibling Saki can opt for fists over blades. You flick the remote and your chosen lady eviscerates the polygonal meat-sacks that make up Tokyo’s undead. Time it just right and massive combos open up – hypnotic murdering grooves where the blades dance back and forth, back and forth.

As the blades spin, things turn a little ‘lawnmower versus zombies at the end of Dead Alive’ and the blood begins to flow, splatting on the screen and dribbling down in gooey trails. You’d think these zombies were pressure packed with the ferocity that the red stuff arcs out. Imagine hitting a raspberry jam doughnut with a rolling pin and you’re halfway there. That’s 30 raspberry jam doughnuts at any one time – onscreen zombie numbers beat Dead Rising’s five-fold.

Capcom’s effort may have the budget and the pedigree, but Onechanbara had us smiling more often, albeit the crazy smile of a mindless death machine. It’s unambitious, but it hits those unambitions brilliantly. Dead Rising’s reach exceeds its grasp. Onechanbara is happy to use its grasp to seize and raise a Japanese schoolgirl’s skirt. Pervy. Bloody. Stupid. Who could ask for more?

Feb 2, 2009