The Greatest Final Men

Final Man: Willis E. Davidge
From: Enemy Mine
Sidekick: Jeriba "Jerry" Shigan

Worse than the Hatfield/McCoy rivalry, and possibly more savage than the bloody Capulet/Montague saga, is the gripping interstellar war between humans and the religious lizard-like alien Dracs. Yes, even bigger than that small ruckus that took place ages ago in some far away galaxy. On a routine, blow-them-to-shit mission, human Davidge (Dennis Quaid) and Drac Jerbia Shigan (Louis Gossett Jr.) crash land on a deserted planet, where they must brave the unforgiving terrain, constant deadly meteor showers and each other’s Odd Couple-like bickering if they want to survive.


Above: You can still kind of see Lou's mustache

Throwing cliché to the wind, Davidge and Jerry realize they’re not so different from one another, going so far as to learn each other’s language (which is one of those movie copouts that gets aliens to speak English). Even the Gossett’s untimely pregno-death (we didn’t make that up, the guy from Iron Eagle actually dies in child birth), really just gives Dennis Quaid another alien to hang out with.


Above: Love will keep them alive

Unnatural love of a freakish, scaly-lizard monster spawn is still love! Jack Black and Andy Samberg explain it aptlyin this sketch based on the movie.


Above: "My balls turned black and fell off"(click the pic for context)

Oh, and we know this article is subtitled the "last men on earth" and Enemy Mine isn't set on our planet, but bending the rulewas thebest way tojoke about human-on-alien sex outsideof another Mass Effect contorversy.