12 evil game characters whose names are also evil

Features
By published

Because just being evil isn't evil enough

Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid)

Some names are just inexplicably evil. And they're the best ones of all. Just saying 'Victor Batrachian' conjures up frankly unpleasant images of being cannibalised, chainsawed into pieces, packed neatly away in an old suitcase and buried in a remote woodland somewhere outside Moscow.

Colonel Bassad (Contra: Legacy of War)

Colonel Badass would suggest a degree of ironic levity. And 'levity' isn't a word that appears in the dictionary of evil words. But the anagrammatically cunning 'Bassad' deceptively suggests that this is a nuts-in-the-head dictator that would cultivate an army of alien mutants to assist in the taking over of the world. Which is exactly what he does.

Scumocide (Captain Commando)

We get genocide. We're familiar with homicide. And we understand the concept of suicide. But Scumocide? What new form of inhumane brutality and defilement is this? It means the killing of scum. It's a clever subversion of roles. In the distorted hate eyes of Scumocide, the good guys are the scum. And he's killing them. That makes him pretty twisted in the head.

Arnold Leach (Jericho)

A leech is a disgusting snot-like hermaphrodite. They suck up blood from a host until they get so fat and bloated they just fall off and wallow about in their own mucus. Nobody likes leeches. So you'd be instinctively cautious about meeting a man called Mr A Leach. That caution would be vindicated when you were skinned alive and had your anus violated in a mass suicide orgy.

The Evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt (Earthworm Jim)

Like a tin of pork brains in milk gravy, this name is the ultimate mouthful of evil.

2 April, 2010

Matt Cundy
Matt Cundy
I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.