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Mario Galaxy 2 is truly a supergiant among games. So vast is its giddying brilliance, it’s managed to suck into its orbit pretty much everything we’ve ever known and loved from the Mario universe, from Magikoopas to Piranha Plants to those little snakey brown platforms that loop back on themselves, pushing you into a pool of lava. But what of the Marioverse’s own Kuiper Belt?
Above: They're out there somewhere
Those long-forgotten items, enemies and blocks that over time have been discarded, ignored, overlooked and pushed to one side? We're sending a probe out to these distant objects and rating their chances of ever seeing sunlight again…
First seen: Mario Bros.
Last seen: Stardust Fields, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
Description: One of the jolliest enemies you’ll never come across. The Fighter Fly hops back and forth all day long, all the while sporting a huge, poo-eating grin.
Reason for demise: Their predictable attack patterns were about as mentally stimulating as a finance advertisement. They also slowed the player down horribly, and everyone secretly likes to go just a little bit too fast through a Mario level, don’t they?
Chances of a grand return: 5/10
First seen: Super Mario World
Last seen: Float Castle, Yoshi’s Safari
Description: Does an animal that’s already 90% armored padding really need to wear a football player’s uniform for protection? Well, it worked up to a point, as these ‘famous’ Mario World nasties could withstand numerous Yoshi buttstomps before shuffling off their mortal coil.
Reason for demise: They just had too many tricks up their shells. Some threw baseballs, others charged through bricks, another would asexually reproduce into three Chucks... In the end, it just got annoying having to study each Chuck to find out what ‘species’ it was before moving in for the kill.
Chances of a grand return: 7/10
First seen: Super Mario Bros 2
Last seen: Er... he got namechecked in Bowser’s Inside Story, but this dude is seriously out of the loop
Description: Right from the off you can tell that Mouser is a mouse with ATTITUDE, seeing as he’s rocking hard man sunglasses and little pink mittens. He pops up a couple of times as a bomb-lobbing boss in SMB2, but can easily be defeated by anyone who has a set of fingers.
Reason for demise: Well, look at the state of him. He can’t even blame his downfall on originally being a Doki Doki Panic design; former Doki stablemates such as Birdo, Pokey and the Bob-ombs have all wormed their way into Mario’s inner circle
Chances of a grand return: 1/10
First seen: Super Mario Land 2
Last seen: As a special item in one of those terrible Mario Kart arcade games
Description: Noshing one of these rancid veggies causes Mario to sprout little bunny ears through his cap. With these new appendages, Mario can float through the air by wiggling his ears. They also allow him to hear baby Goombas from up to half a level away, as they weep over the corpse of their flattened father.
Reason for demise: Very few of Gunpei ‘You Know I Invented The Game Boy?’ Yokoi’s additions to the Mario template stood the test of time. Although Rabbit Mario made for an amusing visual, his powers paled in comparison to Raccoon or Cape Mario. He’s still better than Spring Mario, though.
Chances of a grand return: 4/10
First seen: Super Mario Bros 3
Last seen: In the Nintendo Monopoly board game
Description: This curious line in raccoonwear gifts Mario (or, indeed, Luigi) the ability to transform into a stone statue on demand. Which is more useful than it sounds.
Reason for demise: Mario games are about landing on an endangered animal’s skull at high speed, not hiding like a coward while a turtle that barely reaches up to your ankles creeps past. That said, the Tanooki Suit remains an iconic part of Mario lore and we’ll probably see it return sooner rather than later.
Chances of a grand return: 8/10
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