The best dead things in videogames

Why should the living get all the attention?

Words: on November 18, 2008

Dead stuff makes a vastly under-rated contribution to the world of videogames. Sure, the heroes are usually a living, breathing, virile lot, with pulses and all that boringly conventional malarky, but dead things bring a much more varied array of coolness to the table. We're not necessarily talking dead characters here. We're not even necessarily talking complete corpses with all the parts. After all, you don't need to be anatomically complete or in a pre-decomposition state to have worth.

With Valve's splendid Left 4 Dead out this week, zombies are of course everywhere right now (seriously, look behind you), so we felt it was about time to shed some limelight on the less obvious members of the living-impaired community; the less traditional, less conventional heartbeat-shy who nontheless bring their own unique brand of festering to the table. Read on, and see if we've included your favourite living-challenged lump of inanimate stuff.

(There may be one or two zombies, but only really cool ones)

Pinata Guy - Manhunt 2

Notable for: Death by hanging just as you reach his cell. Making us curse the lack of a baseball bat on the first level. Mmmm, sugary innards.


Dead birds - Condemned: Criminal Origins

Notable for: Teaching kids that collecting animal corpses is an 'achievement'. Disgusting mothers and ruining carpets worldwide.


Burning cop and Axe-in-the-face woman - Resident Evil 4

Notable for: Making us go "Uurgh!" and "Cool!" at the same time. Confirming British prejudices against mainland Europe.


Decapitated barbarian - Castle Crashers

Notable for: Being dead and cute in equal measure. Proving once and for all that you can get away with any level of gore and dismemberment as long as it's cartoony. If only Manhunt 2 had been cel shaded!


Dangling corpses - Gears of War



Notable for: Giving us a cheap, ghost train scare early in the game. Splattering beautifully when shot. Making us wonder just what the hell's been going on in that prison anyway. Who's running it? Why's it empty apart from Locust and dangling corpses? What the hell kind of correctional institute is it!?


Player-controlled zombies - Metal Slug 3

Notable for: Being soul-destroyingly slow. Obliterating everything on screen with a burst of over-powered blood vomit. On balance, being the best status change in videogame history.


Skeleton - Oblivion

Notable for: Looking like a basic bit of environmental detail until you realise you can use the axe like a golf driver and whack its skull off down the hall. Fore!

Related

Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, GameCube

28 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
  • Romination

    Romination  - 2 years ago  - Report

    Price is alive.
    Antiquity of article and stupid plot twists proven
  • bonerachieved

    bonerachieved  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    METAL SLUG 3 YESSSSSS
  • GameManiac

    GameManiac  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Areis (Aerith)????? STILL PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?! 11 years is long enough people! move on already!!
    ...If you want to though...

    (Moving on...)
    Can Nintendo PLEASE take off that Cubone's skull mask/hat/whatever the hell it's meant for off already and show us what its hiding under there? It's just one of three pokemon that are hiding something (the other two are Diglett and Dugtrio).
  • Tochy

    Tochy  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    Snake? SNAKE?! SNAKEEEEEEEEE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Defguru7777

    Defguru7777  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    Man, I wish I was dead...wait.
  • Hurricrane

    Hurricrane  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    ROFL i loved the Tomb Raider drowning video
  • oreomonkey

    oreomonkey  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    if you replace first with something different they'll just start saying FRIST!!!! OR FISRT!!!
  • Moschetto

    Moschetto  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    +1 for Ace of Spades.
    -1 for lack of Manny.
    It all evens out.
  • EvilZeus

    EvilZeus  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    How does fricken Gears get credit for dangling corpses over Oblivion? WTF? FTW? FTL? I'm highly disappointed.

    Ze End.
  • Thequestion 121

    Thequestion 121  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    I love the dry bones.
  • AbleCluster

    AbleCluster  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    Dude, you just gotta love a good video game! Nothing like it!

    jess
    http://www.anon.cz.tc
  • Elbo444

    Elbo444  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    but it's so fun being first, you guys have obviously never been first before, cool article
  • MacGyver1138

    MacGyver1138  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    Ahhh. I was hoping that anyone affected by the "Bloody Mess" perk from the Fallout series would be on here.

    I am all for drprofessor's idea of replacing any of the "first" posts with something. I personally think that it should say, "I am a douchebag," as opposed to just, "douchebag."
  • Juriasu

    Juriasu  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    hareguu would fit nicely on this list!
  • kram101

    kram101  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    wow ur a real emo kid
  • EcoEclipse

    EcoEclipse  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    It's Aerith. Not Aeris. I realize that her default name in FFVII is Aeris, but in every other game relating to the VII storyline, her name is Aerith, so it's obviously her established name.
  • Kattleox

    Kattleox  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    What about the dead soldiers in The Sorrow's river in MGS3? Or any dead guy you pack into a locker in MGS?

    For that matter, What about the Sorrow?
  • Jorw

    Jorw  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    You forgot Manny Calavera and I'm never going to forgive you.
  • Corsair89

    Corsair89  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    Auron would have been a great addition to the list.
  • TrIp13G

    TrIp13G  - 3 years, 2 months ago  - Report

    Captain Price. I hope you aren't dead.
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