You're a pudgy, kinda-gargantuan monster that walks around city streets and slowly razes the bustling metropolis to the ground. There you go. Practically everyone on the planet knows what's going on with Rampage: Total Destruction before they even fire it up. With this in mind, there's definitely some guilty, people-munching fun to be had here - and for less than 20 bucks.
You begin with a handful of the towering beasts, but by tearing through locales like New York, London and San Francisco, more than 25 creatures can be unlocked. It really doesn’t matter if you're an oversized nautilus or an angry cyclops, as each monster handles about the same. Yeah, some may scale the buildings a little quicker, but it's more a matter of preference than anything else.
Total Destruction tries to make the mindless button mashing a little more interesting by giving you goals to accomplish in each wave of new buildings. Eat five bikers, learn a new move. Smash a few cable cars and now you can do a roar attack. Each monster can level up in this way, but again, it all amounts to pounding the square button.
The game's morbid sense of humor can add a little something to the mix, if you think violently shaking a bus to spill delicious people into your mouth is funny. It's also pretty cool when you bust down buildings like a kite store, and multicolored kites spray out like a broken artery.
So there you have it. If the control wasn't so sloppy and loose, Total Destruction could easily have been a much better game. As it stands, this is just like every previous entry. Subtle additions like a Rage meter (break enough stuff and you get faster!) are technically new, but there's just no way you'll want to trudge through this alone. With a friend, and one lonely Jackson in your wallet, there's enough brain-rotting entertainment to kill a few days.