The offices of GamesRadar are almost exclusively populated with heterosexual men – which means it’s more common for Satan to declare a snow day than it is for us complain that a game has too much sex in it. That’s right up there with, “my paycheck gives me too much money” and “my favorite football team wins too many games”. However, that’s one of the big problems with the PSP billiards simulation Pocket Pool: it layers on the PG-13 porn-lite in an attempt to add to its appeal. Then it falls flat on its implants.

This is partially because the innuendo laced dialogue that comes along with it is groan-inducingly tacky. But it’s mostly because unlocking pictures and videos of underwear-clad babes posing in mid-epileptic-seizure-looking positions just isn’t that arousing – 95% of this can be seen every week on Desperate Housewives, and Eva Longoria’s hotter than most of these bims to boot.

Okay, so the “porn” is lame. How’s the rest of the game? Urgh. Let’s just say we know why they added the skin. There are 13 ways for balls-and-cues to throw down, including all the majors: straight pool, 8-ball, 9-ball, blackjack, full snooker, and so on. But they all share a few big problems.