Nintendo's worst-case scenario for E3 2009

LMAO@ Puch out remote referee! Ive almost lost all hope in Nintendo now. Apart from madworld, i havent truly enjoyed a wii game for ages Now my wii usually just sits in a corner all by itself, while i enjoy actual games(not toys, Miyamoto, we want games damnit)on my ps3 n 360.Now, if only they announce the next zelda at E3....

oh shitz all these can totally happen..

I know a good one that you guys forgot: SUPER SMASH BROS. MII. Instead of playing as your favorate francise character, you will play as a stupid stick puppet using dumbass moves like Mii pick and Mii shoot. They can really stick it to us if that game have better features, online and otherwise, than Brawl. Nintendo is gonna milk those Miis for all their worth. It a shame that Nintendo, of all companies, would go the same route as these other no name companies whose only job is to shove real videogames off the self and turn the industry back into the kiddie image that it used to try so hard to avoid. And Pikachu, I really hope that not what Reggie is planning on saying at E3. It doesn't really go along with their "no dirty words" policy that they put up since E3 05. But I do agree that at least one of those 3 things will happen at the event. Nintendo's get-rich-quick-so-we-can-get-laid scheme: Less quality games + more time = Long term millions More crappy games + less time = Short term billions Dumb math, but is goes along with Nintendo's dumb decision to turn their backs on us delicated gamers for those people who would play for a few hours and get bored real quick, put the game in the closet, and collect dust. I call it "play and forget". The new Nintendo makes me sick. Get a grip dammit!!!

what's even worse is that i easily imagined Reggie saying all those things. i then wanted to punch him in the face for the horrid puns.

Five bucks says Wii Color (or Wii Paint or whatever) will actually be announced. reCAPTCHA: weepy author

i cant wait to play metroid golf!!

Want to know what's really depressing? Nintendo putting something that is even worse than the ones mintioned here. The 3 things that are garanuteed to happen in the next big E3 nintendo announcement: 1) It gotta involde the Miis. 2) It gotta be for mindless girls, seniors, and little kids. 3) Will throw in ONE bastardrized hardcore title in another failed effort to tell us to STFU and enjoy this $#!%. Want to know what Reggie really thinks about us hardcore gamers? (Reggie says:) "Here's your s#$%@y little hardcore game, now STFU and get the &%*# out of my face, can't you bastards see that we are making a s#!%load of money and all this whining and crying about the good old days is screwing my business and really pissing me off!!! I don't give a damn about the good old days. That was then, this is now. Look! The reason why we got our asses got whooped 4 years ago is because we are wasting our time trying to please you little smart#$@es. Year after year we are busting our @%$es off making these huge adventures day and night. For what? Just to please a few %$&#ing people, sasified a few &^?%ing crtics, and to make a few million dollars? Screw that, screw them, screw you all. Then I realize why waste years just to create a game only to please these smart@%$es for a few million bucks when I can create some $%#@%y little game in a week and feed it to an endless supply of idoits who can't tell their finger form their &*%# that I can suck billions off of. DON'T YOU IDOITS REALIZE THAT THIS IS A DAMN BUSINESS!!! I CAME HERE TO MAKE MONEY!!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT QUALITY!!! I WANT MORE MONEY DAMMIT AND I WANT IT NOW!!! NOW GET THE @#$% OUT OF MY FACE!!!" (Reggie stomps out) All of this sucess have really warped their minds. These idoits don't realize this same kind of crap cause the great video game crash of 83 and we are wayyyy overdue for another crash. These guys are driving full speed ahead right into a brick wall. This is just plain pathpetic.

Damn, that's some funny stuff!! Great stuff Brett...as usual!!

A lot of people call nintendo stupid for not making games like Donkey-Kong and that Kid Icarus sequel, but they're actually pretty smart. Smoldering piles of crap can be sold to any idiot if it has pretty box art and a bunch of smiling children and old people. Nintendo knows what it can sell and it knows that a lot of its audiance (Mostly the newer, stupid children) can't tell the difference between a good game and a picture of "Pong" taped to a television screen.

I used to love Nintendo. I hate them know. And this was awesome. And you know that at least one of them will actually come into existence.

Um, there's already a Dr. Wario. It was a Minigame in the original Warioware.

Great Article! Now with the 360 starting $50 less than the Wii, I hope Nintendo goes to hell in a handbasket for what they've done. Fuck nostalgia! Prob be a boring E3 though, hoping for more on Forza 3... Recaptcha: that brawling

This has brought to my attention that DK, apart from the new play control bullshit hasn't had a game in a while, so to me a DK themed announcement seems logical, but who knows it'll probably end up as Wii Eat or some shit

The Reggie's Rationalization bits are bloody brilliant! And that disembodied head is creeping the hell out. ReCaptcha: responsible vandals. lol what an oxymoron

I lold at the Wii Fit resort pic, brilliant

please dont let this happen god i only own a wii and ds first

its good that they didn't do this........ it would ruin "THE NINTENDO DIFFERENCE!" *Note: that slogan was used to promote the gamecube, one of the worst graphically based consoles.* but wait....... if i want the nintendo difference is a bad slogan and has to be ruined,i want these games to be made????? FTW= f*** the world or for the win

Crap.Crap.Crap.Crap.And more Crap. Although "KID ICARUS BOW TRAINING" doasn't sound so bad-ish.But if they do that, they might as well do it with every other bow/crossbow charecter.In other words besides Crap, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING IF THEY DO THAT!!!!!!!!! Make something new Nintendo! Like, iduno, something new!!1 :(and ;p

There IS going to be a Wii Fit Resort game, if it isn't already out... ...You guys knew that, right?

Does anyone remember the last time you heard Nintendo is making a new game ... and it made you happy!?! No? just like i thought... Nintendo get your freaking stuff together