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Artificial Stupidity

The worst (and funniest) enemy 'intelligence' in gaming exposed

Words: Justin Towell, GamesRadar UK

Having played hundreds of games over the years, we have to say true artificial intelligence is rare. Does Seaman really learn to speak? Did the AI in Forza 2 really learn how to double-brake? Who knows. What we do know, however, is that it's very easy to confuse a computer – sometimes without doing anything at all.

We can happily type that into one without fear of reprisal as the office PCs don't have robotic arms (yet). So for now, we can laugh – as will you. Bring it on.

Crysis (PC)
As we understand it, most of the videos on YouTube of Crysis' allegedly poor AI come from the pre-release demo of the game or player-created maps. So don't think this is necessarily the final game being rubbish. Still, there used to a be a bridge there...



Then there's the conversation that becomes decidedly one-way...



And finally the realisation that you're in too deep (the AI characters die in water for some reason). But maybe some spectacles are in order?



 
25 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Liamrules42  - 6 months 23 days ago 
wow, AI can be reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally dumb
musashi1596  - 6 months 23 days ago 
In their defence, I have played against far stupider human opponents.
wasabi31  - 6 months 22 days ago 
lmao, all of the oblivion stuff was hilariousss!!
planet5421  - 6 months 22 days ago 
lol i loved the elder scrolls vid!
gorillaman23  - 6 months 22 days ago 
theres this one level in the video game for the movie "the incredibles" and you're playing as violet, the girl that can go invisible, so there are these two guards talking. heres what you do: you go invisible, sneak up behind one unnoticed, then let go of the invisibility button for a split second then go invisible again and run away. the guard will see you behind the other guard and shoot his buddy! you might want to have the unlimited invisibility cheat on, though.
ChocoMongoose  - 6 months 22 days ago 
Oblivion intelligence is the best it almost purposely breaks itself for your amusement those were bad dogs and a weedy carpet
Sebastian16  - 6 months 22 days ago 
Heheh.
TripleAD  - 6 months 22 days ago 
I lol'd at Robot Arena, SSBM and Mgs
Bossco  - 6 months 22 days ago 
Haha, that woman raking the carpet in Oblivion is mental. Thats what it must be like in an old peoples home.
linkganon  - 6 months 21 days ago 
hahaha, most of the metal gear solid ones were actually done using the stealth camouflage, with that camouflage on, they will never see you unless you are on the alert or an enemy bumps into you causing it to turn off. this makes me remember the time i wiped out an entire unit using only fly anargic mushroom in groznyj grad, after you get your stuff back. they are in the same area, they see that guy die from a poisoned mushroom and yet when i throw another one, they still eat it.
linkganon  - 6 months 21 days ago 
oh that reminds me, on the donkey kong level on melee, face ness. be sure he's player 2 and he will do a double jump right into the water for a win in 3 seconds.
AA95mp  - 6 months 20 days ago 
they love dogs alright.
Gamedude-9  - 6 months 20 days ago 
The oblivion thing was awsome so hat is what oldpeople do when they are bored lol.
renegade1  - 6 months 19 days ago 
lmfao aww man i loved the one where the guy was tea bagging him!!!!!
IAmTheWii  - 6 months 18 days ago 
It's an LOZ pinata party!
ranzatsu  - 6 months 18 days ago 
Reminds me of the time when I saw a guy run up and down the stairs in Assassin's Creed.
slamansnikovski  - 6 months 18 days ago 
these were hilarious, although in the crysis diing in the water i think he was attacked by a shark, i'm serious, sharks attack if you stay in the water.
someonetgsn  - 6 months 15 days ago 
xD MGS stupidity at its finest! =)great article, even I havent seen AI this stupid. (except in MGS)
hardcore_gamer1990  - 6 months 5 days ago 
Stupid AI in Assassin's Creed?

What about those beggar women?
I'M BLATENTLY AN ASSASSIN! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO PESTER ONE OF THOSE GUARDS, IT'LL HELP ME SNEAK PAST!

lol :D
AngryScotsman  - 4 months 17 days ago 
The Oblivion "Oblivious AI" one was especially funny as every attack was a "sneak attack"
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