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26 comments

  • gopikmin - April 28, 2012 4:50 p.m.

    crime rate would skyrocket on the other hand. People would be always be breaking into home and breaking pots or trying to levitate the silverware out of the house
  • Plan10FromOuterSpace - April 28, 2012 5:16 a.m.

    I'm not too convinced by the last point on politeness. For the RPG player you might be correct, but for the general FPS player a mix of over-inflated ego and internet annonamosity is a sum that normally adds up to massive dick.
  • mothbanquet - April 28, 2012 2:06 a.m.

    "They are fuelled by stupidity, laziness and self-absorbed misappropriated ego." And this doesn't apply to gamers...?
  • KA87 - April 26, 2012 5:56 a.m.

    Judging by Hitlers post he would be one of those whiners that claims you stole his kill in Mass Effect 3. I think there are some problems with the money point. First off in most RPG's there is a very small selection of items to choose from which makes it easy to compare all of the items and the best items can never be passed or fall to technological advances because they are in a set time frame. In real life there are thousands of choices and the turn over on technology is less than 18 months now. Secondly, in most RPG's your character does not eat, sleep, pay rent, or have a girlfriend that makes you spend large amounts of money on her (In how many RPG's are you forced to spend hundreds if not thousand of dollars on your GF or wife?). In the RPG's that let you do those things (Fallout: New Vegas) you can just kill people or animals and take their $, food, and shelter (Also, why do the wolfs in Skyrim have Garnets? What do they do with them and were are they storing them?). I don't think that stuff would fly in our society. Also the idea of maximizing space seems easier said than done. For example how many people can carry 10 swords, 5 daggers, 3 bow, 2,000,000 arrows, 3 sets of armor, 40 books, 69 potions, and 55 random items and still walk around and fight off bandits like you can in Skyrim. Also no one has a 4X4 chest or dresser that acts like a dimentional rift that allows you to store an infinite amount of items. Also in games like Resident Evil all you really need are guns, bullets, a few health items, and keys (not a lot of stuff to manage). Have a nice day!!!!
  • DryvBy - April 26, 2012 4:59 a.m.

    War is inaccurate. War would be more like racism. Instead of race, it would be console/PC/Mac/Linux based wars. "Commander, we have captured the Play Station." "Excellent. Now call them all "nubs" until their ears bleed."
  • c-c-c-combo breaker - April 26, 2012 4:04 a.m.

    If everyone thought like they do in games, eh? I'd stab everybody who 'didn't like the look of me', if that were the case. I get pretty pissed at those people during rpgs.
  • CitizenWolfie - April 26, 2012 1:56 a.m.

    These are exactly the sort of responses I give people when they say video games are bad for kids and don't teach them anything. Minus the amusing exaggerations of throwing cats out of the window of course. I'd like to add another: Time Management/Deadlines. Real World - people are always late, missing important deadlines, missing appointments, missing buses and trains. Clearly these people are idiots and have no place in modern society. Gamers - since as far back as Super Mario Bros (and further still), gamers are often faced with timed missions and with open world games such as GTAIV some missions are only available after a certain time and day. We have an extraordinary ability to get our act together and nail that mission with time to spare. Because we know that if we don't, we are faced with a fate worse than death - the Mission Failed/Game Over screen.
  • robotdickens - April 26, 2012 1:01 a.m.

    Proving that gamers are the next and best step in man's evolution. You know what Elder Scrolls taught me? Don't fuck with the police unless you're ready for them or have a death wish, picking up things that don't belong to you will piss people off (unless you were born under the sign of The Shadow or have a good invisibility/chameleon/charm spell), books will enhance your knowledge, look around usually the best stuff is out in the open, and never mess with an authority figure unless you are really really bored. XD
  • IceBlueKirby - April 25, 2012 4:59 p.m.

    Now I'm waiting for the Skyrim patch that adds the "And Iei Will" shout that causes dragons to flee in terror. Great article as always, Dave!
  • gopikmin - April 28, 2012 4:47 p.m.

    won't that make hate you more and make you more likely to burn into a crisp like the picture
  • jackthemenace - April 25, 2012 2:20 p.m.

    I, too, thought the Street Fighter one was brilliant, especially the part about everyone getting bored and leaving. That had me in bits. This is why you've always been one of my favourites, Dave ;D Keep up the good work
  • EwoksTasteLikeChicken - April 25, 2012 12:36 p.m.

    Thank you, this just made my day
  • rxb - April 25, 2012 12:21 p.m.

    Good work Hooters... Im guessing your not as fan of X factor or the only way is Essex some how. Also gamers 'polite'? Have you ever heard of as thing called the internet, or xbox live?
  • nightasasin - April 25, 2012 12:18 p.m.

    This, this is good.
  • TURNAAAR - April 25, 2012 11:01 a.m.

    top quality article, the street fighting bit especially.
  • ericthesmith - April 25, 2012 9:47 a.m.

    I say instead of war we solve things Notch-style: with a round of Quake.
  • ConfidentSheep - April 25, 2012 7:09 a.m.

    Brilliant ideas! I think street violence would be far less dangerous this way. And seeing people doing forward somersaults through the air as the fail to do a fireball properly would make them much more fun to watch.
  • Darkhawk - April 25, 2012 6:56 a.m.

    My first thought was Climate Change: Gamers are so hell-bent on resource conservation, I can't imagine a gaming world in which we over-consumed anything.
  • GR_DavidHoughton - April 25, 2012 7:03 a.m.

    Strong suggestion. I really should have thought of that one myself. Consider it spiritually added to the list.
  • SonicX_89 - April 25, 2012 6:14 a.m.

    Never have truer words been written regarding RPG spending.

Showing 1-20 of 26 comments

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