Google+

Chairman Steve's House of GamesRadar In-Jokes

If you have to explain a joke, it’s no longer funny. On the other hand, if someone keeps cracking the same joke and you have no idea what they hell they’re talking about, they’re an annoying dick and you have the right to punch them. (We’re pretty sure it says so in the Constitution.)

We like being self-referential buffoons, but we also don’t like being punched. You see our dilemma. Thankfully, we’ve discovered a unique solution: we’ll just show you our greatest recurring in-jokes in…


B. Buttercup

GamesRadar’s senior wildlife editor and sole equine staff member, B. Buttercup may be the most opinionated and articulate photograph of a horse in the world.


Above: A photograph (not an actual horse) 

Assisted by Senior PC Editor Tyler Nagata, we turn to Buttercup whenever we need opinions on which horses are sexiest or why sharks are terrible from a diabetic, long-suffering animal under the twin pressures of maintaining an urban lifestyle as a horse and trying to earn a living as a games writer. And we pride ourselves on being the only games site that does so.


You should play Okami

We say this a lot. Whenever possible, in fact. But only because it’s true: you should play Okami. Play it every day for the rest of your life. Play without ceasing. Do not stop to eat. Do not pause to sleep. You need only the flickering light of Amaterasu to keep you warm and safe.


Above: Pretty much just an average Tuesday for us 

OK, OK. Fine. We admit it: this is just a hollow, obligatory demand that we roll out whenever we can, for no other reason than that it’s kind of funny to continually shame our audience into playing a four-year-old game, however wonderful it might be. Most of us stopped playing it ages ago, and at this point it won’t really affect the franchise’s future if you buy a copy, assuming you can even find it new.
 
Still, though: you should go play some goddamn Okami already, or we’ll find you.


Jaws Unleashed

At the other end of the spectrum is a game we’ve repeatedly encouraged people not to play, but that we keep writing about anyway. 2006’s Jaws Unleashed is moronic, poorly designed and frustrating to play, and yet we can’t seem to keep ourselves from devoting entire articles, theme weeks and episodes of our filthy, stupid show to the thing, years after its release.


Above: HURRRR DURRRR etc. 

Of course, the real, dark truth is that we love it anyway. Good lord, how could we not? It’s a game about a super-intelligent shark that eats people in a saltwater sandbox. That it’s objectively godawful is irrelevant.


Duke Lombardi

The de facto mascot for TalkRadar, Duke started life as the bizarre, semi-spontaneous creation of GR’s poop-joke editor, Chris Antista (inspired by the name of Valve marketing VP Doug Lombardi), but quickly took on a life of his own. Beloved by TDar fans for his gruff Chicago patter and shattering glass pants, Duke gradually went from nonsensical rants about Animal Crossing, mummies and hats, to slightly more focused rants about pets, E-rated games and current events.


Above: Art by forum user IWUNapenguin 

While we hear less of him these days, Duke still rears his hideous fat head from time to time – although few of his appearances can match the ferocity of his debut in TalkRadar 15:


"Gams jarnalism"

“Games journalism,” said in a lazy, half-conscious way that betrays a faint contempt for the grim seriousness with which some people insist on viewing games journalism. That, or it’s just fun to comically mutilate common words and phrases in a manner that makes us look both cynical and illiterate.


Above: A gams jarnalist hard at work on groms jarmranism 


Above: Here, have a jar of Grandma jam 

Whatever the case, this has become the preferred spelling for our profession among TalkRadar fans, and more often than not in the office itself.


Clustershart

The human anus is a remarkably sophisticated organ that, more often than not, can tell the difference between farts and shit and react accordingly. But it’s not a flawless system, and errors in judgment can lead to shitfarts, or “sharts.”


Above: It’s even worse when chainsaw marines squeeze through 

A “clustershart,” then, is a word you invent when your bosses tell you you’re not allowed to say “clusterf**k” and you want to make them regret it.


Chris Antista

… smells like pizza.


Above: Image by forum user ChrisAntistaSmellsLikePizza 

That’s all. Just consider this an object lesson in why you should never broadcast the nicknames or rhymes you were teased with as a kid to your thousands of listeners. Not only will you never hear the end of it, but it’ll be immortalized in a slapdash internet article written by one of your brutish, unfeeling co-workers.

We Recommend By ZergNet

64 comments

  • VirAetas - June 17, 2010 4:56 a.m.

    Undoubtedly my favorite article on Radar. It pretty much validates my existence as a fan of the site. Keep up the good work, gents.
  • Zeb364 - February 22, 2010 9:56 a.m.

    Duke Lombardi is the man.
  • super0sonic - February 22, 2010 6:36 a.m.

    Fantastic!!!!!
  • Wubbles - February 22, 2010 12:49 a.m.

    You did an excellent job writing this article, Mikel.
  • Ravenbom - February 21, 2010 8:23 a.m.

    Loved the article, slap-dash as it may be Wikiparaz
  • garfunkling - February 20, 2010 5:44 p.m.

    I love tdar! I think the soundboard should be on the list. There has been enough consistent hilarity from that to merit it i believe.
  • it_burns - February 20, 2010 9:53 a.m.

    *feel proud Damn typo.
  • it_burns - February 20, 2010 9:52 a.m.

    I feel to have been a part of the community long enough to get most of these. Good times.
  • mmarano - February 19, 2010 8:53 p.m.

    now I know what the cool kids are laughing about.
  • TURbo - February 19, 2010 8:25 p.m.

    Don't Put hotsauce on your penis is now editorial content at gamesradar. Congratulations.
  • soren7550 - February 19, 2010 4:20 p.m.

    Holy crap on a stick, the 'The Norwegian King of Names' bit was hilarious!
  • TURbo - February 19, 2010 3:19 a.m.

    This article is Fail. Tyler Wilde was not on episode 70. He said Don't put hotsauce on your penis in episode 71, and then the remix was in 72. Not up to TDard standards.
  • NanoElite666 - February 19, 2010 2:48 a.m.

    "Clustershart" shall henceforth be added to my everyday vocabulary. I sincerely thank you for this GamesRadar.
  • wrapdump - February 19, 2010 1:22 a.m.

    I'd forgotten just how much the music on that e3 video freaked me out. Going to go cry in the shower after waching that sega guy licking the mic *sob*
  • BishopofHippo93 - February 18, 2010 11:30 p.m.

    I think I laughed for 10 minutes straight at the whole "The King" thing. One of the funniest thing I have ever seen on this site. You guys made my day.
  • DriveShaft - February 18, 2010 9:33 p.m.

    Love Jaws and Okami :D -Sigh- I miss when this was cheat Planet
  • markwiglesworth - February 18, 2010 8:04 p.m.

    i must say...i played Jaws, jus due to all of the bad press. And it was so bad i loved i XD kinda like Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus
  • Blackbird - February 18, 2010 7:10 p.m.

    The norwegian name krister is actually pronounced just like you said it first. the second try is more like danish.
  • elchetos - February 18, 2010 6:26 p.m.

    I guess this show how many loyal followers you guys have... I'm sure I'm one of many who got all of the in-jokes. It was an awesome trip down memory lane, and I can say it felt good to go through it. Thanks!
  • Amnesiac - February 18, 2010 5:54 p.m.

    I'm surprised I didn't see Bret's baby laugh. But great article nonetheless.

Showing 1-20 of 64 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.