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Snakes On A Plane (2006)
Killer Condom (1996)
The High Concept: A carnivorous living condom is feasting on New Yorkers’ nether-regions.
The Weird: You might think that title is just a schlocky way of referring to some sort of sexual predator, but no, this really is about a piece of living latex with a taste for genitalia. As the tagline so wonderfully puts it, it’s “the rubber that rubs YOU out!”
How To Make It Weirder: Introduce a Bride Of Killer Condom, in the shape of a toothy dental dam.
Poultrygeist (2006)
The High Concept: Zombie chickens attack a fast food joint.
The Weird: Zombie chickens, eh? How did they come about then? Well, foolishly, the American Chicken Bunker decided to open their latest outlet upon an Indian burial ground. As any horror movie aficionado knows, these should be avoided at all costs…
How To Make It Weirder: If the various fast-food products also became possessed. A fat customer choked to death by some zombie chicken nuggets? We’d watch that.
Troll 2 (1990)
The High Concept: Vegetarian monsters attempt to transform a family into plants so they can eat them.
The Weird: A thoroughly ridiculous premise in that it relies on the film’s grisly ghouls perennially attempting to trick their victims into boosting their vegetable intake. Salvation comes in the form of a bologna sandwich which taints our young hero’s blood, thus making him unpalatable to the meat-fearing goblins. Sheesh.
How To Make It Weirder: Include a ghostly grandfather who sporadically drops in to help out. Oh wait, they’ve already got one of those...
Kate & Leopold (2001)
The High Concept: A 19th Century Duke finds love in modern-day New York.
The Weird: Time-travelling culture-clash capers abound as Hugh Jackman stumbles through a time portal and finds himself falling in love with Meg Ryan’s mouthy career-woman. Inexplicably, after knowing him a matter of days, she consents to travel several hundred years back in time in order to become his wife. That’s what a ticking biological clock will do…
How To Make It Weirder: Kate and Leopold return to 1876 to find that the world has been taken over by a race of sentient apes. Noooooo!
Blown (2005)
The High Concept: A sex-doll becomes possessed by a voodoo priestess.
The Weird: A riff on the old Killer Condom theme, only this time, the latex monster is a full-sized sex doll. However, the killer’s motivation is something of a novelty, even amongst trash movies: the voodoo priestess who sets events in motion only does so as a reaction to the constant racket from her neighbours. Worth bearing in mind, next time you host a noisy party…
How To Make It Weirder: By using one of those inflatable sheep, instead of a regular human sex-doll…
The Human Centipede (2010)
The High Concept: Mad scientist plans to stitch three people together…front to back.
The Weird: An incredibly gross prospect on paper, although one that doesn’t really go anywhere on the screen. Once he’s finished with his needle and thread, the Doc doesn’t seem to know what to do next and the whole thing flounders a bit. Even weirder is the head of the chain’s sudden epiphany that he deserves to die…it literally comes from nowhere!
How To Make It Weirder: Chucking the odd pensioner into the chain would have upped the ick-factor somewhat…
The Gingerdead Man (2005)
The High Concept: A gingerbread man is possessed by the spirit of a murderer.
The Weird: We should clarify. The Gingerdead Man (got to love that pun, haven’t you?) comes into being when his mother blends his ashes with a gingerbread mix. She’s a witch, obviously, but she still has a little help when an electrical surge animates her sugary creation. Oh, and the Gingerdead Man himself? That’s Gary Busey. Weird enough for you?
How To Make It Weirder: By including a Jack Frost -esque love scene. Speaking of which…
Jack Frost (1997)
The High Concept: A serial killer becomes a mutant snowman.
The Weird: Jack looks thoroughly ridiculous for a start, not to mention semi-immobile, and we defy anyone to watch his sex-scene with Shannon Elizabeth without laughing. Although you probably shouldn’t, given that she’s being raped by a giant snowman. However, seeing as she lives in a town named Snowmanton, something like this was always bound to happen.
How To Make It Weirder: By having him turn his victims into snow-people like himself, leading to a massive final stand-off between a snow-army and the national guard. Guess they didn’t have the budget…
Mannequin (1987)
The High Concept: Man falls in love with a possessed shop-dummy.
The Weird: A man falling in love with a mannequin? That’s ridiculous! Oh, but the mannequin is actually the reanimated form of an ancient Egyptian girl transported 5,000 years into the future? Well that makes perfect sense.
How To Make It Weirder: If Emmy never came to life at all, but Jonathon still fell in love with “her”…
