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Divine Retribution
As Seen In: Legion (2010)
Nah, we get a horde of kick-ass angels, kitted out in armour and wielding fearsome weapons, instead.
The End Of The World As We Know It? God has lost faith in mankind, which stacks up the odds somewhat, given he’s a deity ‘n’ all.
Thank God – or not – human-lovin’ angel Michael (Paul Bettany) still cares enough to get blasphemous on our behalf.
Hyperspatial Express Route
As Seen In: The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (2005)
The End Of The World As We Know It? On a practical level...yup, 'fraid so, your time is up. Those Vogons need that intergalactic bypass.
For those with a more holistic view, it’s worth pointing out that the Earth is currently being rebuilt on Magarathea. Life (The Universe, and Everything) goes on.
Rogue Computer
As Seen In: Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
The End Of The World As We Know It? Skynet’s nuclear blitzkrieg - and the post-apocalyptic war with the Terminators - are inevitable.
The only question is when. As a result of all those timey-wimey shenanigans, Judgement Day has been deferred from its original ETA of 1997 to 2004; now apparently it’s happening next year. Duck and cover.
Zombie Infestation
As Seen In: Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Mankind v2.0 offers a new look - outstretched arms, shuffling walk and half-chewed brains dribbling out of our mouths.
The End Of The World As We Know It? Surprisingly, no, provided you can get to the nearest mall.
Once you’ve cleared the aisles of any loitering zombies, the fruits of capitalist society will be yours to enjoy once more.
Mutually Assured Destruction
As Seen In: Dr Strangelove (1964)
Otherwise, the mushroom clouds are a dead giveaway.
The End Of The World As We Know It? The finality of an automated Doomsday Device can't really be argued with.
Still, life for the survivors, bunkered underground in Dr Strangelove's repopulation sex-farm, can't be all bad . Provided you're a man.
Mayan Prophecy
As Seen In: 2012 (2009)
Either it’s the end of civilisation, or Roland Emmerich has a new movie out.
The End Of The World As We Know It? Jeez, talk about spoilers. It's only two years away.
Alternatively, start saving. The world’s governments are building space arks to transport the lucky few to safety, but prices start from around $1 billion a seat.
Angry Monkey Virus
As Seen In: 28 Days Later (2002)
The End Of The World As We Know It? No more gentle countryside strolls, romantic meals in restaurants, or quiet nights slobbed out in front of the telly.
On the plus side, obesity is no longer an issue, as the only survivors are all fitness fanatics.
Asteroid Collision
As Seen In: Armageddon (1998)
The clearest signal that something is up is that NASA has taking to recruiting a redneck oilman to save the day.
The End Of The World As We Know It? Said oilman is Bruce Willis, so probably not.
Besides, only a fool mistakes Bayhem for something meaningful.
Dysgenics
As Seen In: Idiocracy (2006)
Basically, it means we're all getting stupider. Eventually, we'll have be tattooed with barcodes, and rely on tubes to eat and shit.
The End Of The World As We Know It? That's a trick question. If we're that stupid, we won't know anything .
Although, judging by the success of ITV's Take Me Out , it might be too late for us anyway.
