The Top 7… Games that kicked America’s ass

They invade our space and we fall back. This far, no further! The line must be drawn here!

2 - Resistance

How bad did they get us? After basically eating Russia and Europe like a light snack, the Chimera – an alien army but also a human-mutating virus – take over America easily. They invade from the east and west, bringing in absolutely enormous airships, mechanized walkers and even a Godzilla wannabe (pictured above, eating Chicago). We get to see the invasion as it takes place in (yet again) San Francisco and man, does the Chimera lay the smack down. It’s properly intimidating the way SF gets swept under the flood of ships and soldiers, with hero Nathan Hale having to bail out frantically. So how bad does it get? Well, Resistance 3 starts off with the US completely lost to the Chimera – it’s a wasteland inhabited by all kinds of alien horrors. So yeah, they got us pretty bad.

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? Well sure, but we failed miserably. Nathan Hale manages to take down Goliath walkers, a sea monster called the Kraken, one of the humungous battle ships, that mega monster from Chicago known as the Leviathan and even the supposed leader of the Chimera, Daedalus. Despite facing certain “doom” in that he has the Chimera virus inside him, Hale manages to get a nuke into the center of the Chimera air fleet. Yet in the end, before Nathan can succumb to the virus, new protagonist of the series, Joseph Capelli, puts a bullet in his brain to allow him to die as a human. So despite kicking all kinds of extraterrestrial ass, Hale ends up dead and couldn’t stop the total takeover of America. Ouch.


1 - Metal Wolf Chaos

Long time readers know we’ll use just about any excuse to talk about Metal Wolf Chaos, so this is bit tricky. Yes, technically America’s getting its ass kicked, however, you’re the one doing the ass kicking… which is your God-allotted right, given you’re playing as THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

How bad did they get us? Metal Wolf Chaos cuts deep... Although the game released in 2004 as a Japan exclusive, all of the events are exclusively American, in English, set in around 2010… heavy, political shit man. Hilarious, if you can still remember the Bush/Cheney administration. Anyhoo, in the past-future, unemployment, civil unrest and domestic terrorism are on the rise. So Vice President Richard Hawk does the only logical thing and declares all-out war on President Michael Wilson using the entire US military!

Did we proudly stand up and defend her?

Don’t feel too bad for Pres. Wilson. Luckily, he’s got an armored mech equipped with missiles, railguns, and sniper rifles with which to mow down the military across through the country, from Washington DC all the way to Las Vegas. And - oh yeah - SPACE! Let’s ignore that the most patriotic game EVER came straight from, and was released exclusively in The Land of the Rising Sun. There’s a far more important question to ask here: Is kicking America’s ass wrong/illegal if the President’s the one doing the ass kicking?!


So, why no Modern Warfare 2? It’s true that America is invaded by… sigh, Russia, again, but compared to everything else on this list, the actual destruction and demoralization is light. Despite all its well-choreographed carnage, in MW2 we never really lose control of the country, not even a single city. Disputes, battles, missiles, bullets, bodies, all that happens, but we repel the invasion pretty quick. But Modern Warfare 3? Sorry New York, you’re back in the crosshairs.


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