Nov 16, 2007

On paper, this game should be incredible. It’s got two uniquely grizzled anti-heroes, an impeccable developer (IO, of Hitman fame) and loads of Michael Mann-inspired set-pieces (more on that later). The main men are Kane, a death row inmate who allegedly double-crossed his shady employers, The7, and Lynch, a paranoid schizophrenic who needs to constantly pop medication to keep his anger in check. Kane’s been sprung from prison and forced to find The7’s stolen booty or they’ll kill him, and Lynch is on hand to make sure his new pal doesn’t do a runner. And so the pair goes on a crime-filled rampage - robbing banks, shooting it out with cops and generally being a menace to society. But as Kane & Lynch: Dead Men unravels you soon realise that their partnership is as compelling as Bert and Ernie.

We’d like to say that it starts off promising and then peters out, but we’d be lying. Kane & Lynch maintains a relatively low excitement level throughout and, coming from the developers of the atmospheric Hitman and Freedom Fighters, it’s hard to swallow the disappointment. One problem is that the two lack any sort of personality. Sure, Lynch flips out now and again early on and wastes innocent hostages during a botched bank job, but later on he becomes little more than a swearing nuisance who badmouths Kane rather than following orders. And apart from Kane’s odd milky-coloured eye, he’s your generic lead man - he may as well be called (Milky) Joe Average. They’re total charisma vacuums, and it’s hard to feel involved in their murderous plight. But more importantly - Kane & Lynch isn’t that much fun to play.