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77 comments

  • Mystery514 - March 4, 2009 12:49 a.m.

    Hilarious Article!
  • FadedLineVigil - March 4, 2009 12:25 a.m.

    Thank you for compiling things we've all known for years. Hack.
  • NelosAngelos - March 4, 2009 12:02 a.m.

    Lol, your arch enemy is actually your brother. Fear the evil Danny Devito Schwarzenegger!!! Man I love the movie twins
  • Unoriginal - March 3, 2009 11:33 p.m.

    Brilliant article. Probably one of the funniest/best things Ive read on this site. This should say JRPGs though since the American RPGs tend to stay a little fresher.
  • Predator428 - March 3, 2009 11:22 p.m.

    Good thing Bioware doesn't follow this formula.
  • legory - March 3, 2009 11:17 p.m.

    @ candyman It sounds like Chrono Trigger, 'cause that's the one he's using as a reference.
  • s3ct10n8 - March 3, 2009 11:14 p.m.

    I think that names that are impossible to pronounce should be on this list (for most new RPG's anyway) Like star wars, elder scrolls, mass effect, ect.
  • candyman - March 3, 2009 11:07 p.m.

    This sounds a lot like an old game I played once.
  • legory - March 3, 2009 10:58 p.m.

    Ahah, this is awesome. You rock Paul.
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - March 3, 2009 10:57 p.m.

    Oh Paul Ryan, when will you stop hating RPGs?
  • Thequestion 121 - March 3, 2009 10:50 p.m.

    Awesome. Now I know how to beat every RPG ever!! Thanks GR!!!
  • Corsair89 - March 3, 2009 10:47 p.m.

    haha, yeah. I've played tons of RPGs and they all follow these rules, especially RPGs by Square Enix. You forgot something: sometime along the way, one of your most important allies WILL die. Whether an NPC or party member, someone important to you will die.
  • jamminontha1n2 - March 3, 2009 10:25 p.m.

    I'm just wondering how long it took him to come up with this list. It's spot on. Great article
  • Fishow753 - March 3, 2009 9:44 p.m.

    Another Paul Ryan classic.
  • RonnyLive19881 - March 3, 2009 9:42 p.m.

    You just spoiled every RPG I have never played! HOW DARE YOU!
  • Cyberninja - March 3, 2009 9:31 p.m.

    second great article
  • skyguy343 - March 3, 2009 9:30 p.m.

    god i love this site, great article

Showing 61-77 of 77 comments

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