Every year the Guinness Book of World Records comes out, and every year there are always a few you look at and think huh?. Theres always some bloke whos balanced 15 lampshades on his eyelashes, or some woman who has grown a ten foot long hair from her armpit. Actually, I may have been on a date with her.
Anyway, theres a gaming edition too. Ever wanted to know which game has the most fish? Or the record amount of time for playing Just Dance? Of course not, but you should read on to find out anyway. These are the most bizarre gaming feats to ever be officially acknowledged.
Longest Game Session in Freefall
Jesse Moerkerk is a guy from the Netherlands. Hes also six foot five inches and weighs 265 pounds. This is not the kind of man youd expect to be particularly nimble, but he holds the record for the longest game session in freefall.
For 18 minutes and 52 seconds he was suspended in a vertical wind tunnel, Wii remote in hand. In that time he managed to beat the first boss level in Super Mario Galaxy 2. It was like doing one continuous press up the entire time, he said. Jesse, if you had just jumped out of an actual plane and collected a few Cloud Flowers, it wouldve been a lot easier.
Longest Marathon for a Dance Game
Last year I took part in the Extra Life gaming marathon for charity. Towards the end of those 25 hours, it was getting pretty rough. At one point my gaming involved staring at the day/ night cycle in Proteus, wondering if I was still alive.
And that was just me sitting in a reasonably comfortable chair. I cant imagine taking part in a dance game marathon for 25 hours. And thats not even the record. Carrie Swidecki played Just Dance 4 for 49 hours 3 minutes and 22 seconds. Yeah, you read that right, she danced for over two days!
Longest Prison Sentence for Playing a Game
Im not talking about threats sent over Xbox Live voice chat, or clobbering someone with a Guitar Hero controller. Faiz Chopdat was jailed in September 2002 for continuing to play Tetris on a flight after repeated protestations from cabin crew. Back then, using electronics on a flight was a pretty big deal.
He was given four months for endangering the safety of an aircraft, and the judge who handed down the sentence also unsuccessfully called for mobile phones to be confiscated and held during flights. Imagine if one of the most popular and well known games of all time had managed to make planes even more boring than they are now.
Longest Career as a Baseball Game Developer
I mean, talk about a niche market. Baseball is very popular in certain regions of the world of course, but the games are never going to sell as well as the FIFAs and Maddens. Madden had its 25th anniversary last year. If anyone has worked on all of those, thats a hefty career.
However thats nothing compared to Don Daglow who worked on his first baseball game in 1971, and went from there to found Stormfront Studios. Hes been creating baseball games (among many others) for 42 years. Not all of them have been home runs of course, but by Game 7 youll probably be hitting them out of the park. Theyre all baseball terms by the way, at least thats what Wikipedia tells me. Baseball is just rounders with helmets, right?
Largest Range of Bombs in a Game
What do you reckon? A war based strategy game? Some sort of hyper violent shooter? Nope. Its a game set 500 years ago in Constantinople. I bet you didnt know you can create more than 300 types of bomb in Assassins Creed: Revelations.
Ill be honest, Im pretty sure I forgot you could create bombs at all after the first tutorial for them. This isnt Bomberman, youre supposed to be a badass assassin, not some buffoon who lobs explosives around.
Most Species of Tree in a Strategy Game
This one doesnt sound that exciting, but its bizarre nonetheless. Total War: Shogun 2 features 80 species of tree. That may not sound a lot, but I challenge you to name more than ten. As a hint, you can start with the names of all the Pokemon professors.
Anyway, what makes this bizarre is that the game only features 30 different combat units. I thought this was supposed to be Total War, not Total Dendrology.
First In-game Pizza Delivery System
First thing you always do in a new MMORPG? Type /dance. Dont lie to me. Forget making your character look good and coming up with the best name, the most important thing is making sure you can get down with the dwarves and the elves.
Have you ever tried typing /pizza? In Everquest II, you were linked directly to the Pizza Hut delivery website. This is everyones dream, surely? Why hasnt this feature been implemented in every game? Watch Dogs is missing a trick with not being able to order a Chicago deep dish from that phone. Or better yet, one of those pizzas with hot dogs stuffed in the crust.
First Scientific Study of a Chemical Compound from a Game
In 2006, scientists from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (you might have heard of it) published a paper analysing Tiberium, the resource from the Command and Conquer games. Apparently its a dense, dynamic proton lattice, held together by exotic heavy particles. Very fancy.
Okay, so this was more of a publicity stunt than anything, scientists werent really expecting to gain anything from studying it. They were commissioned by EA in order to promote C&C3: Tiberium Wars. Cant they be put to better use? Like finding out why gravity doesnt work in Skyrim?
Fastest Marathon Completed as a Game Character
Were talking about actual marathons now, not game marathons. Im much better at the latter, but I appreciate the supposed health benefits of leading an active lifestyle. What was that command to order pizza from inside a game again?
Nash Pradhan and Dan McCormack were dressed as Mario and Luigi when they ran the London Marathon together in 2012. They finished in 3 hours 29 minutes and 41 seconds, which is a pretty respectable time. They did miss like five green stars though, so they might have to run again next year.
First Music Video in Simlish
Dag dag! Sa dooga. Narbo puhzed. Un janbedo. I think I just tried to flirt with you in Simlish. Or I might have insulted you. Or maybe I need the toilet. Anyway, the incomprehensible language that the Sims speak is silly, but that didnt stop Lily Allen releasing a version of her hit Smile in it.
The music video is created entirely in the Sims 2 Seasons, where the sim version of Lily is getting her own back on a particularly pathetic cheating boyfriend. She shouldve just built a swimming pool, shoved him in and then deleted the ladder.
Most Fish in a Game
Ah, Runescape. Many a childhood hour was spent mining ore, baking bread and pwning n00bs in the wildy. Back when I couldnt afford to buy new games on my 2.50 a week pocket money, Runescape was the holy grail of online gaming.
Its still going strong today though, and it also holds a Guinness World Record for biggest number of fish in a game. In 2012, 8 billion of the smelly, slippery creatures were caught by players. Jesus shouldve brought the five thousand to Runescape. There are enough loaves and fish to feed them for a lifetime.
A wasted life?
Look, I'm not going to pass judgement on these records. They're both impressive and utterly insane all at once, and I'm strangely in awe of their achievements. Reckon you could top any of these? Are you dedicated enough to be a record breaker? Why not do something about it, then. Or maybe you just want to talk big in the comments below. Yeah, go for it.
Want more amazeballs GamesRadar features? Here's one about 10 Video Game Icons, And The High School Cliques They Belong To, and another fine look at the The 8 Saddest Things That Make Gamers Weep.