The world was hardly crying out for a sequel to Garry Marshall's 2001 tween fantasy. But here it is anyway, with Anne Hathaway's all-American princess reunited with Julie Andrews' fairy-tale queen for a second sickly helping of Pygmalion-style hijinks.
This time around, Mia (Hathaway) learns she has to marry if she's to inherit the throne of make-believe European country Genovia. Who to choose, though: the English duke with the poker mallet wedged firmly up his rectum (Callum Blue), or the bad-boy count with a cheeky twinkle in his eye (Chris Pine)?
That it takes almost two hours for our heroine to make up her mind is the least of Marshall's crimes here. No, what really takes the biscuit is when he gets Andrews to sing on camera for the first time in ages, only to promptly elbow her off screen to make way for annoying pop-tart Raven. Sadly, this isn't the worst indignity Dame Julie has to suffer. Mattress surfing, anyone?