The best and worst of Mickey Mouse

Look, we’re not a cantankerous game site that mocks old games purely on the basis of being old… but come on, look at this thing! It’s not like it had a rousing composition to fall back on either.

The absurdly easy game proudly boasts that it’s made “For Kids,” which probably why it looks like like it was animated with Duplo blocks. Playing as Mickey from Fantasia, you had to catch stars in order to inexplicably earn buckets, then use those to bail out the mess made by the sentient brooms in the Sorcerer’s cavern.

Above: Several Disney titles were canceled following this monstrosity

This is everything that’s wrong with the latter day treatment of Mickey Mouse. All of the Disney characters originated as comic Everymen meant to relate to people of all ages, not just children. But as Mickey grew in popularity and the company became increasingly sensitive about how he was used, more so than any other character, he became relegated to ineffectual baby nonsense.

Above: If you can’t match the stars with the number, try taking the controller out of your mouth

Adventures in Numberland came from Hi-Tech Expressions, a publisher notorious for releasing crappy kiddy games with the Mickey license. But for Disney fans, the biggest sacrilege is sticking Mickey in a world of arithmetic in the first place. That’s Donald territory, dammit!

Above: Guns and Algebra: Brought to you by 1959’s Donald in Mathmagic Land

Hear us out! While Kemco was happily releasing horrendous Disney games in Japan, Capcom held the license for North America. So, as not to let Americans miss out on this perceived hit, they reskinned the whole shebang with Bugs Bunny. Seriously!

Above: Scandalous!

Man, that’s cold. Aren’t they arch enemies?

Either way, it sucked, the practice continued, and Mickey wouldn’t be the only one who saw himself retrofitted with a rival.

Above: Poor, poor Roger