"It's so far from what we wanted"

We’ve compiled the five best slowdown fixes to help ease your pain:

1) Install it to your HD
There’s a near-secret option in System Settings that allows you to dump a whole load of PES 2008 data onto your hard drive. This will instantly give you quicker loading times and fewer framerate issues as PS3 is reading less information from the disc than before. Handy.

Effectiveness: 4/10

2) Select a dull stadium
A spot of trial-and-error in ground selection has yielded varying results. Patterns cut into the grass are bad, so turn them off. The Stadio Olimpico feels like playing through treacle mixed with glue. Our tip? Play at the Teatro Blanco on a featureless pitch type for the best results.

Effectiveness: 8/10

3) Turn off the commentary
Let’s be honest, the commentary is naff and the processing power used to deliver its stilted and repetitive lines is wasted. Switch it off in the System Settings menu. And while you’re there, turn off the stadium effects - like the entrance scene and crowd flares, too.

Effectiveness: 9/10

4) Stick to two players only
It sounds stupid, but if you’ve got three mates round dying to play PES 2008 and you happen to have four pads, force two of them to sit and watch as you play one-on-one instead. Alternatively, have them lug another PS3, a copy of PES 2008, and a TV round for an all-day session.

Effectiveness: 7/10

5) Use a zoomed-in camera
We play with the Wide camera usually, but having to deal with showing so much of the pitch makes PES creak - a zoomed-in camera eases the strain a little bit. Whether it’s worth the trade-off of not being able to see who you’re passing to half the time is another matter, however.

Effectiveness: 6/10