Skip to main content
GamesRadar+ GamesRadar+ GamesRadar+ The Games, Movies, TV & Comics You Love
Sign in
  • View Profile
  • Sign out
flag of UK
UK
flag of US
US
flag of Canada
Canada
flag of Australia
Australia
  • Games
  • TV
  • Movies
  • Hardware
  • Video
  • News
  • Reviews
  • Guides
  • Deals
  • More
    • PS5
    • Xbox Series X
    • Nintendo Switch
    • Nintendo Switch 2
    • PC
    • Platforms
    • Tabletop Gaming
    • Comics
    • Toys & Collectibles
    • SFX
    • Newsarama
    • Retro Gamer
    • Newsletters
    • About us
    • Features
Total Film
Gaming Magazines
Gaming Magazines
Why subscribe?
  • Subscribe from just £3
  • Takes you closer to the games, movies and TV you love
  • Try a single issue or save on a subscription
  • Issues delivered straight to your door or device
From$12
Subscribe now
Trending
  • Grounded 2
  • The Fantastic Four: First Steps
  • Donkey Kong Bananza
  • Switch 2 Starter Pack
Recommended reading
Dying Light: The Beast
Horror Games Dying Light: The Beast dev reveals the unlikely inspiration for Kyle Crane's new abilities – "I think of Pac-Man as a survival horror game"
HyperX Cloud Alpha Wireless review
Headsets & Headphones I own 50+ gaming headsets, but I'm still gobsmacked by the 300-hour battery life of the HyperX Cloud Alpha Wireless
Death Stranding 2 PS5 screenshot
Action Games Death Stranding 2 isn't weird enough: Hideo Kojima has an idea for a game where your character forgets everything if you stop playing
Baseus Blade power bank connected to Nintendo Switch 2 on woodgrain desk.
Nintendo Switch 2 Struggling with poor Switch 2 battery life? This Power Bank will lend Ninty's handheld a helping hand
Death Stranding 2Sam running to the C1 Distribution Center
Action Games Death Stranding 2 players could use monorails to bypass cargo limits on big deliveries, but that's way less cool than this two-truck solution devised by an expert porter: "This is genius"
Death Stranding 2
Action Games After Metal Gear Solid 5 made sparing or killing enemies so important, I'm disappointed Death Stranding 2 wasted its most interesting mechanic
A Switch 2 console plugged in for charging
Hardware Nintendo Switch 2 adds a feature that I want on basically every device I own: battery charging settings that limit your juice and reduce "deterioration"
  1. Games
  2. Action
  3. Watch Dogs

"But his phone battery never dies" - 6 ways Watch Dogs defies logic

Features
By Matt Porter published 27 June 2014

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

It's good to hack

It's good to hack

Say what you want about Watch Dogs, but you cant deny that its core hacking system is cool. Being able to plunge Chicago into virtual chaos using your phone makes you feel powerful, and thats before you resort to the usual guns and grenades.

But come on now, Ubisoft. You cant expect us to believe Aiden Pearce is doing all this from his smartphone without any complications. Everyones got one of those mobile devices nowadays, but as good as they are, we all know that they dont exactly work how we want them to all the time. Heres what would happen if the events in Watch Dogs were actually realistic.

Page 1 of 8
Page 1 of 8
1. Unbelievable battery life

1. Unbelievable battery life

Ill start with the obvious one up front. Lets be honest, your phones charge might last an entire day provided you dont even turn on the screen to check the time. A few checks of your email and a quick Twitter update is usually enough to send the battery into the redzone.

Now take Aiden Pearce, and his constantly logging into Chicagos operating system. The first time he changes the traffic lights at an intersection hes going to have to head back to the bunker to plug in his phone. Maybe Aidens trenchcoat carries dozens of extra batteries. Is that why it flaps around so much?

Page 2 of 8
Page 2 of 8
2. He never gets spam

2. He never gets spam

Aiden only ever seems to get texts and calls from people he wants to talk to. I dont know about you, but most of the time I excitedly check my phone after I receive a text, only to find its spam about some special offer or a call about a free credit report. Not Aiden. Why? Well, just imagine your next tailing mission in Watch Dogs being interrupted by an ad for penis enhancement.

Maybe Aiden doesnt get them anymore, but he must have received some in the past. It looks like he got a pretty sweet deal on trenchcoats and hats before, because those are the only things he seems capable of buying in clothes shops. Maybe he just has a really great sponsorship deal. From, er, people who make slightly shabby coats and self-aggrandising hats.

Page 3 of 8
Page 3 of 8
3. He never gets caught for texting while driving

3. He never gets caught for texting while driving

Using your phone while driving is very dangerous. Youre distracted from the road, and you have to take your hand off the wheel to use it. Of course, its even more dangerous if you happen to be a Fixer chasing down Aiden Pearce in a car. Drive over some blockers or a steam vent and its lights out for you.

There dont seem to be many visible police in Watch Dogs version of Chicago (they just seem to magically appear during a chase), but if any of them did spot Aiden on his phone, hed be pulled over in a flash and slapped with a hefty fine. Maybe even some points on his license too. Perhaps this fictional version of the Windy City doesn't have the same law that the real one put into effect late last year.

Page 4 of 8
Page 4 of 8
4. He never drops or damages his phone

4. He never drops or damages his phone

Weve all done it. Those slippery phones always seem to squirm out of our hands at the worst possible time. Ive lost count of the number of friends who've dropped their phone down a toilet. Whats more is, the pricier the handset, the more damage it seems to take / faecal matter it seems to attract.

Aidens phone must be very expensive and heavily customised, given how high tech it is. The amount of running and jumping about he does, coupled with how many times he gets shot or in car accidents must mean Aiden drops his phone from time to time. Thankfully for him, any one of the people whose bank accounts hes hacked can pick up the bill.

Page 5 of 8
Page 5 of 8
5. He never gets unexpected phone calls

5. He never gets unexpected phone calls

*Bzzzt... bzzzt* Hello? Yeah, hi mother No I cant really talk right n Yes Ive remembered aunt Sarahs birthday No I havent forgotten youre visiting at the weekend. Listen, Im surrounded by some very angry gang members at the moment, I have to go. Ill call you back okay?Yeah I love you too.

Its pretty lucky Aidens phone never rings while hes sneaking up behind a bad guy with his baton at the ready. Maybe he remembers to put it on silent before infiltrating a gang hideout, though it's got to be pretty quiet on vibrate too. Like most human beings, gangsters happen to be another group of people who dont like you being on your phone while you're trying to kill them.

Page 6 of 8
Page 6 of 8
6. No-one criticises Aiden for constantly looking at his phone

6. No-one criticises Aiden for constantly looking at his phone

One of the more amusing moments in Watch Dogs for me was near the start of the game where Aiden visits his sisters house. Shes talking about her son and how everyone is coping with the tragic loss of her daughter. Meanwhile, Aidens walking around the house looking at his phone as her heartfelt conversation continues.

People can get super annoyed if youre on your phone in their company. Sending texts to other people while youre having a conversation is just plain rude. At least most people put their phone away again afterwards. Aiden seems to have the thing glued to his hand. I know youve got some pockets on that flappy trenchcoat of yours, Pearce.

Page 7 of 8
Page 7 of 8
No service

No service

I know if I had a phone with the power of Aiden Pearces, I wouldnt be so mad at how much I currently pay for mine. I bet his data doesnt get throttled after 5GB either. As it is, weve got a long way to go before the events of Watch Dogs can be believable. Have you noticed anything else wrong with Watch Dogs world? Let me know in the comments.

Want more Watch Dogs-flavoured madness? Here is 8 Things You Need To Do In Watch Dogs Before You Die, and another feature on Why Aiden Pearce Is A Total Asshole. No, you're welcome.

Page 8 of 8
Page 8 of 8
CATEGORIES
PC Gaming PlayStation PS4 Xbox Xbox One Platforms
Matt Porter
Social Links Navigation

You can often find Matt writing words about games, especially at a time when he was a freelance games journalist. However, nowadays Matt is a producer for CSGO and League of Legends, and an interviewer for Dexerto. 

See more PC Gaming Features
Read more
Dying Light: The Beast
Dying Light: The Beast dev reveals the unlikely inspiration for Kyle Crane's new abilities – "I think of Pac-Man as a survival horror game"
HyperX Cloud Alpha Wireless review
I own 50+ gaming headsets, but I'm still gobsmacked by the 300-hour battery life of the HyperX Cloud Alpha Wireless
Death Stranding 2 PS5 screenshot
Death Stranding 2 isn't weird enough: Hideo Kojima has an idea for a game where your character forgets everything if you stop playing
Baseus Blade power bank connected to Nintendo Switch 2 on woodgrain desk.
Struggling with poor Switch 2 battery life? This Power Bank will lend Ninty's handheld a helping hand
Death Stranding 2Sam running to the C1 Distribution Center
Death Stranding 2 players could use monorails to bypass cargo limits on big deliveries, but that's way less cool than this two-truck solution devised by an expert porter: "This is genius"
Death Stranding 2
After Metal Gear Solid 5 made sparing or killing enemies so important, I'm disappointed Death Stranding 2 wasted its most interesting mechanic
Latest in Action
Infamous
Ghost of Yotei director says "I would love to work on more Infamous" and "see a trilogy re-release," but for now "Sucker Punch is a one game at a time shop"
Naoe looks over at a dense, lush, green forest in Assassin's Creed Shadows from a viewpoint
I took 140 hours to finish Assassin's Creed Shadows, but post-launch updates are making it harder than ever to feel satisfied by RPGs
Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad in Assassin's Creed
Assassin's Creed live-action series greenlit at Netflix from Westworld and Halo showrunners: "We're committed to creating something undeniable for fans all over the planet"
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Final Fantasy 7 Remake's Aerith actor takes Legend of Zelda movie casting in good spirits after saying she'd love to audition: "Thank you all for your support during this very difficult time"
A young Noctis and Lunafreya in Final Fantasy 15 Kingsglaive
The Legend of Zelda movie has finally cast its titular princess, and it turns out she was already a video game movie veteran at roughly 12 years old thanks to Final Fantasy
Assassin's Creed art
The co-CEO of Ubisoft's new Assassin's Creed and Far Cry subsidiary is the son of Ubisoft's actual CEO, but he says he's definitely not a nepo baby
Latest in Features
The Fantastic Four: First Steps
The Fantastic Four are in Avengers: Doomsday, and I think I know what that means for First Steps
Naoe looks over at a dense, lush, green forest in Assassin's Creed Shadows from a viewpoint
I took 140 hours to finish Assassin's Creed Shadows, but post-launch updates are making it harder than ever to feel satisfied by RPGs
Ghost of Yotei gameplay showing Atsu sitting on her horse between bright pink cherry blossoms, looking at a distant fortification built against a mountain
I asked Ghost of Yotei's creative directors all of my burning questions, and I don't want to get your hopes up but Sucker Punch's sequel sounds like feudal Red Dead Redemption 2
Steam Deck review
I'm too broke to buy Donkey Kong Bananza, so if you're sharing my FOMO here are the best Steam Deck games I'm playing instead
Skate reboot screenshots
I played 4 hours of the new Skate and caught up with developer Full Circle, who believes "this is the best Skate has ever felt or played"
Cyberpunk 2077 screenshot of female V who has blue hair and wears pink trousers and black jacket and sits on the back of a motorcycle before neon skyscrapers
I've put over 900 hours into CD Projekt Red's RPG, and these are the best Cyberpunk 2077 gigs I always love replaying
  1. DK and Pauline look surprised in Donkey Kong Bananza
    1
    Donkey Kong Bananza Review: "Destruction isn't just a flashy gimmick for the Minecraft generation, it's one of the best inventions Nintendo has had in years"
  2. 2
    Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 + 4 review: "A nostalgic, must-play hit for fans"
  3. 3
    College Football 26 review: “Thanks to rivalries and dynasty, this is the greatest show on turf”
  4. 4
    Mecha Break review: "This mech battler makes up for lacking customization with a varied roster that lets me live out my Evangelion fantasy"
  5. 5
    Death Stranding 2: On the Beach review: "This tarpunk delivery epic is more Metal Gear Solid than ever, for better and worse"
  1. David Corenswet as Superman inside the Fortress of Solitude in James Gunn's Superman.
    1
    Superman review: "A triumphant reinvention and a promising start for the DCU"
  2. 2
    Jurassic World Rebirth Review: "An unscary sequel that needed a little more time in amber"
  3. 3
    M3GAN 2.0 review: "A bold sequel with a slightly underwhelming conclusion"
  4. 4
    28 Years Later Review: "Enough terror, splatter and suspense to satisfy”
  5. 5
    Predator: Killer of Killers review: "Great characters, thrilling action, and gorgeous Arcane-esque animation"
  1. Lee Jung-jae as Gi-hun in Squid Game season 3
    1
    Squid Game season 3 review: "A staggeringly excellent final season wraps up one of the greatest Netflix shows ever"
  2. 2
    Ironheart review: "A relic of Marvel's content-at-all-costs era"
  3. 3
    Star Trek: Strange New Worlds season 3 review: "The show's most assured run of episodes to date"
  4. 4
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 8 spoiler review: 'The Reality War' is "a mix of the good, the bad, and the truly baffling"
  5. 5
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 7 spoiler review: 'Wish World' is "an exciting and ambitious" start to the season finale, with hints of WandaVision

GamesRadar+ is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

  • About Us
  • Contact Future's experts
  • Terms and conditions
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies policy
  • Advertise with us
  • Review guidelines
  • Write for us
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Careers

© Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.

Please login or signup to comment

Please wait...