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50 Worst Movie Sex Scenes

Ciao! Manhattan (1972)

The Scene: The devastatingly skinny ‘Susan’ (Edie Sedgwick) succumbs to drifter ‘Butch’ (Wesley Hayes), who takes her to an empty swimming pool where they do the dirty. So bad that ‘Susan’ ends up going for shock therapy.

Look Away When: Hayes’ top lip starts curling up. Foulness.

The Room (2003)

The Scenes: The entire film is an excuse for numerous soft-focus sex scenes, with a paper-thin plot plastering them all together.

Look Away When: Wiseau gets his wide ass out.

Japn (2002)

The Scene: Alejandro Ferretis’s painter get lusty with craggy old Magdalena Flores, who’s about four times his age.

Look Away When: When Ferretis says “Lie down, madam.” You really don’t want to see anymore than that.

The Generals Daughter (1999)

The Scene: Captain Elisabeth Campbell (Leslie Stefanson) is gang-raped by camouflage-wearing army trainees, and left bloodied and traumatised.

Look Away When: The trainees start hopping around like wild animals while wielding their guns.

Last Tango In Paris (1972)

The Scene: Marlon Brando’s Paul anally assaults Maria Schneider’s Jeanne on the floor. Truly horrific.

Look Away When: Brando says “get the butter”.

In The Cut (2003)

The Scene: A whole minute and a half of Meg Ryan getting her feet licked and her neck caressed etc etc by Mark Ruffalo.

Look Away When: Ryan’s on screen.

Shoot Em Up (2007)

The Scene: What should be the ultimate action scene – Clive Owen doiks Monica Bellucci while fending off numerous invaders – is an operatic mess that merely draws uncomfortable giggles.

Look Away When: The guns come out.

Gigli (2003)

The Scene: Infamously dreadful, as dating-at-the-time Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck simulate sex for their turkey of a movie. Speaking of…

Look Away When: J-Lo reads that legendary line; “It's turkey time... Gobble gobble...”

Taking Lives (2004)

The Scene: Ethan Hawke and Angelina Jolie dabble in a little table sex in a bizarre scene that seems more fixated on Jolie’s feet than anything else.

Look Away When: Jolie puts her foot on the wall for balance.

Teeth (2007)

The Scene: Dawn (Jess Weixler) gets her own back on her potty-mouthed stepbrother, who’s blissfully unaware that she has vagina dentata – yes, a razor-fringed fanny.

Look Away When: Dawn mounts her step-bro.