50 Strangest Censored Movie Lines

Risky Business (1983)

Original Line: "Just say 'fuck'. If you can't say it, you can't do it."

Edited Version: "Just say 'hell'. If you can't say it, you can't do it."

Ummm, advice to live by.

Caddyshack (1980)

Original Line: “Hey everybody! Let's all get laid!”

Edited Version : “Hey everybody! Let's all take a shower!”

Which doesn't exactly clean this line up, does it?

The Matrix (1999)

Original Line: "If Morpheus had told us the truth, we would have told him to shove that red pill right up his ass!"

Edited Version
: "If Morpheus had told us the truth, we would have told him to shove that red pill right up his ear!"

Give a whole new meaning to the term 'earful'.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

Original Line: "That tickle that you're feeling in the back of your throat right now? It's atomized colloidal silver. It's being pumped through the building's air-conditioning systems, you cock-juggling thundercunt!"

Edited Version: "That tickle that you're feeling in the back of your throat right now? It's atomized colloidal silver. It's being pumped through the building's air-conditioning systems, you crock-juggling chunderbump!"

Ryan Reynolds gets censored for TV and is even less coherent than usual.

There's Something About Mary (1998)

Original Line: "He was masturbating, he was masturbating!"

Edited Version: “Franks and Beans, Franks and Beans!”

Which is actually a recipe involving the unholy marriage of hot dogs and beans in a stew.

Clearly Mary's brother is a fan...

The Exorcist (1973)

Original Line: “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell.”

Edited Version: “Your mother knits socks that smell.”

Unbelievably sinister.

Ghostbusters (1984)

Original Line: "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"

Edited Version: "What a knockabout of pure fun that was."

Perhaps the worst example of Bowdlerisation ever – particularly insulting because the cast actually recorded this alternate version.

We thought better of them.

Scarface (1983)

Original Line: "This town is one big pussy just begging to be fucked."

Edited Version: "This town is one big chicken just begging to be plucked."

Which, obviously, makes so much more sense.

Pineapple Express (2008)

Original Line: Seth Rogen yells: “You're an asshole. That's all you are; an asshole.”

Edited Version: Seth Rogen yells: “You're a casserole! That's all you are; a casserole.”

Even funnier is James Franco's embittered response. “I'M NOT A CASSEROLE!”

You tell him, Franco.

Snakes On A Plane (2006)

Original Line: “I have had it with these mother-fucking snakes on this mother-fucking plane!”

Edited Version: “I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!”

So funny that we wish this was in the actual movie.