50 Strangest Censored Movie Lines

National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

Original Line: “Fuck yo mama!”

Edited Version: “Man, who do I look like, Christopher Columbo?"

American Pie (1999)

Original Line: “This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”

Edited Version: “This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my mouth.”

That Michelle, she crazy.

Slackers (2003)

Original Line: “You crazy-ass bi-atch.”

Edited Version: "You scaly bass fi-ash."

Just genius.

Shark Attack 3: Megaladon (2002)

Original Line: "Yeah, but I'm still pretty wired. Why don't you come back to my place and I eat your pussy?"

Edited Version: "Why don't you come back to my place and watch I Love Lucy ?"

Seductive. Nobody can resist I Love Lucy.

Nobody.

Casino (1995)

Original Line: “Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you!”

Edited Version:
“Get this through your head, you Jew money lover, you!”

Yes, Casino appears twice – these two are just too good not to include.

Particularly in this instance, in which the dubbed line is waaay more offensive. Waaaaay.

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Original Line: “Hand me the keys you fucking cock-sucker.”

Edited Version:
“Hand me the keys you fairy godmother.”

Perfect for use in everyday life.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Original Line: “Yippe-kai-yay, motherfucker!”

Edited Version: “Yippe-kai-yay, Mr Falcon!”

The censorship bods actually renamed a character in Die Hard 2 in an attempt to give this line some meaning.

Do The Right Thing (1989)

Original Line: “Motherfucker!”

Edited Version: “Mickey fickey!”

Somebody's been taking Jive-talk lessons from Airplane!

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Original Line: “See what happens when you F a stranger in the A!?”

Edited Version: “See what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”

Apparently you get your car smashed in is what happens. Stay away from those Alpine strangers, kiddies.

Good Will Hunting (1997)

Original Line: Will: "Does this violate the doctor-patient agreement?"
Sean: "Only if you grab my ass."

Edited Version:
Will: "Does this violate the doctor-patient agreement?"
Sean: "Only if I turn around."

Oh my, that doesn't defuse any sexual tension at all. In fact, it's arguably makes it worse.