The Clone Wars is little more than yet another of those tedious, overly-simple, unengaging, repetitive arcade-adventures that proliferate the bargain bins of games stores, preying on the wallets of well-meaning grandparents and leaving behind a stream of traumatized children in their wake.

It’s a grim button-masher of a game at the best of times, but in all honesty the game’s actually at its best when you’re just hammering the ever-suffering buttons, because the fixed camera makes the platforming segments an absolute chore. Lining up any kind of jump would be a frustrating experience, if only you didn’t have an infinite number of attempts at it. When you’re not even bothered that your character has plunged to his doom, that’s when you know you’re wasting your time. The only motivation to carry on, in fact, is to find an even more painful vertical drop onto jagged rocks to fling him off.

Droids can be ‘jacked’ in order to use their offensive capabilities, but this is way too fiddly and frustrating to entertain. There are also some shooty clone trooper bits, but why are we even talking about this game, anyway? We’d much rather talk about anything else.

Oct 6, 2009