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Would YOU date a game character?

We create some characters and put them on dating sites to find out

Words: Dave Meikleham, GamesRadar UK

We created four different virtual people and signed them up to various online dating sites. Why? We wanted to see if anyone out there was desperately seeking something enough to pursue any of our digitally-constructed lonely hearts. And, yes, they did receive attention from people who were looking for love. Here's what happened.

Sally Slam (created in Virtua Tennis 3)


Above: The picture we put on her profile

What we wrote on her profile: "Hey, how's it going? I'm Sally, a massive tennis fan, amateur player and all around digital sports enthusiast. I don't really have time to socialise, as I'm out on the courts most days training. If I'm not knocking over drum cans with my balls, I'm getting sweaty trying to serve and volley into strategically-placed barrels. I recently entered my first amateur tournament and walked away with the title.

I won't lie, because so much of my life revolves around smashing balls, watching balls getting smashed and thinking about watching balls getting smashed, I don't really have time for the whole dating scene. I'm looking for some no strings attached, unadulterated fun. Time wasters need not apply. Do you think you can handle a hot, amateur star? Don't mind taking second place to my burgeoning tennis career? Then why not send me a message? I might just serve up some naughty fun."


Above: Our girl after a hard ball smashing session

Her interests:


Above: There's so much mystery and depth in those digital eyes

The emails Sally Slam received:

Sadly, we didn't get a chance to read all these. Sally Slam was officially purged from the interwebs when our account was deleted by the admin boffins.

Most chilling email:

Stiffy Dan (above) wrote: "Hey, you got MSN babe? I would like to chat to you a bit better than using this messaging thing. Also you can smash my balls around anytime. I'm up for some no strings attached fun if you are. Get back to me. xx"

Johnny Cage (created in UFC: Undisputed)


Above: Johhny enjoying Blackpool beach in his profile pic

What we wrote in his profile: “Yo. I’m Johnny. Johnny Cage. But you can call me Mr. Johnny Cage… the third. Nah, I’m just messing with you… kinda. Anyhoo, I’m a part-time mixed martial artist, originally from Manchester. Recently, I’ve tried to get into the British UFC scene, but haven’t had much luck. Maybe it’s got something to do with me having tapped more than Fred Astaire during almost every match I’ve fought in. I’m a passionate sort and I’m never one to hide my emotions. Especially when I’m getting my ankle snapped by some seven foot skinhead from Ukraine.

I can’t lie. Years of squaring up against other men has given my face what you might euphemistically describe as ‘character’. I also foolishly emblazoned my chest with a Union Jack tattoo. It’s obviously something I regret and, as soon as I’ve saved up for the laser removal surgery, you can consider it gone. Why am I here? For companionship, really. And to make a connection with someone that doesn’t end with me in tears and with my pelvis shattered.”


Above: Our boy getting ready to fight in the ring

The suspiciously high number of emails Johnny Cage received within his first day on the site:

Maybe they just like Photoshopped pictures of really ugly game characters... oh wait, what's this? You just want us to pay an extremely reasonable fee to actually open any of the emails from these seemingly hot and horny and totally real girls? On second thoughts, we think we'll try and hook Johnny up with a friend.


 
57 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
FrozenImplosion  - 4 months 19 days ago 
HAHAHAHAHAHAH Thats a little disturbing that people ACTUALLY sent messages to those people XD
WrathLord03  - 4 months 19 days ago 
But at least they weren;t judging them on their looks and actually taking their personality into account. And it's possible that no one noticed that they were game characters because they have horrible vision. They got their seeing-eye dog to read their personality's for them.
ReCaptcha: Mrs sermon
First  - 4 months 19 days ago 
- Comment removed by Community
Reported
somerandomchap  - 4 months 19 days ago 
OMG HAHAHA SO DAMN FUNNY, I LOVE TALKRADAR
somerandomchap  - 4 months 19 days ago 
lol why did i write talkradar, lol but whatever i still do
smallberry  - 4 months 19 days ago 
Good lord Edna Eagle is going to give me nightmares. I hope you guys will talk about this a bit in TalkRadar UK. Great article.
gamesradar_george1  - 4 months 19 days ago 
We bring it up in the podcast...
candyman  - 4 months 19 days ago 
Edna looks like a klingon
darkvare  - 4 months 19 days ago 
that was mean but hilarious
noobeater  - 4 months 19 days ago 
lol whats worse:

believing these are real people and interested in there horrific appearence

OR being so ugly and lonely themselves that peole actually go on these websites and call themeselves sexgod69696696 etc when they are obviously bums
noobmasteroftehworld  - 4 months 19 days ago 
Edna looks like the girl from the exorcist in her close up photo
MechGyver  - 4 months 19 days ago 
"That is a stupid question!"- David Hasselhoff in talkradar 42
Xplosive59  - 4 months 19 days ago 
ah kill edna eagle with fire! plz
Rhesus  - 4 months 19 days ago 
Hahaha Oh man GR, that's good stuff!
Naikori  - 4 months 19 days ago 
That's really funny and really disturbing. I'm not sure if these guys who sent the messages can see well, or really have no life.
Doomwaffle  - 4 months 19 days ago 
Proof Gamesradar is nowhere near dead.
Savannah1994  - 4 months 19 days ago 
Hilarious!
speno93  - 4 months 19 days ago 
very ,very disturbing and creepy and gut bustingly hilarious. another brilliant and inventive article from Gamesradar, nicely done!
Cwf2008  - 4 months 19 days ago 
That was hilarious yet disturbing at the same time
michaelmcc827  - 4 months 19 days ago 
This article was great, just try for a second edition with more then just people from sports games maybe...
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