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Trailer Trash 8

Your weekly dose of awful game videos

Words: Lizzie Cuevas, GamesRadar US

This week in Trailer Trash, we’ve received a couple of videogame trailers geared toward girls. Not that there’s anything really wrong with it, but when will developers ever come out with a good girl game? Oh, that’s right - never. Because guns will always be way cooler and more badass than pots and pans, smashing glass is more awesome than raising kids, and splattering blood everywhere is cooler than washing your dog.

Cate West: The Vanishing Files

If the actual game is anything like the trailer, I hope that goddamn lady quits talking while my magnifying glass cursor is out.

 

Women’s Murder Club: Games of Passion

First, I’m pretty sure there would be some unhappy parents when their little girl refuses to join a book club and exclaims, “I wanna join the Women’s Murder Club instead!” Second, since when did playing mahjong become a method to find clues?

 

Personal Trainer: Walking

This isn’t exactly just for girls, but most guys who watch this trailer tend to get bored and move on. Did Nintendo just decide that girls love watching graphs scroll through their DS? It’s like keeping track of your menstrual cycle. Plus, how many families are like that? The dad probably hates his life, the mom wants validation for not having a job, and the older daughter thinks she’s fat.


 
27 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Turbobison  - 5 months 11 days ago 
Pro Cycling Manager is this year's killer app. Now you can take the boring of cycling to your favorite system of choice. The only game where you are better for having one testicle!!!!

TAKE THAT MADDEN!!
skyguy343  - 5 months 11 days ago 
woah woah woah, seriously, that testicle potshot was not cool
AntistaIsTheLight  - 5 months 11 days ago 
Second! I tried Free Realms. I hated it. Why make horrible things and falsely advertise it as something that looks slightly fun?
AntistaIsTheLight  - 5 months 11 days ago 
DAMN IT I CANT EVEN GET SECOND!
nik41507  - 5 months 11 days ago 
5th
nik41507  - 5 months 11 days ago 
i had to cliam it in case someone else posted while i was reading the article. The personal trainer walking people are complete re tards.
nik41507  - 5 months 11 days ago 
is it really your world in free realms? are you like a god or what. can you have sex? NO!!!!!!!
so its NOT my world
Greed  - 5 months 11 days ago 
Who the hell puts footage of a game running at 5FPS in a trailer?

The cycling manager devs, apparently.
MechGyver  - 5 months 11 days ago 
"...Smell that? You smell that?
What?
Pussy, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.
I love the smell of pussy in the morning..."
Scotch  - 5 months 11 days ago 
wow. the personal trainer: walking add was HORRIFYING
Spybreak8  - 5 months 10 days ago 
Hahahahahaha, oh man nice ones this time around, holy cow. Hmm, why'd mom leave you dad? Well son, she found out that I was cheating on her with that game you bought for your DS. Is that why I'm grounded? haha what the hell. Director: Ok people I need you to run back and forth in your suburban back yard, no more enthusiasm damn it! The reactions of those people to that lame band were priceless and that cycle game, omg!
jaffa_5  - 5 months 10 days ago 
any one else think Lizzie Cuevas is all kinds a cute??
MechGyver  - 5 months 10 days ago 
@jaffa_5

I thought bestiality was more your kind of thing




(lol)
jaffa_5  - 5 months 10 days ago 
i just really love chicken lol
Jordo141  - 5 months 10 days ago 
That Personal Trainer: Walking thing works for dogs too?

................Cool.
Cyberninja  - 5 months 10 days ago 
@jaffa_5 yes and i am looking forward to nostigia it looks fun
vigeoman  - 5 months 10 days ago 
haha the dares must have got a terrible gig from free realms i mean its cool playing at e3 but for free realms thats terrible

by the way i played the game and its one of the worst online games EVER
Skykid  - 5 months 10 days ago 
WHAAAAAAAAT THEEEEEE F--------K?!?!?!? This stuff is wacked up? Were you on a high GR? or am I just a bad critic?
fatcat275  - 5 months 10 days ago 
I noticed that the Dares' lipsync was messed up, both in the game and in real life.
jaffa_5  - 5 months 10 days ago 
lol @cyberninja it really is fun

recaptcha: roomy joan (thats also the name of the chicken lol)
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