In the future, when Captain Kirk is battling tribbles and Data is learning how to love, this lopsided comparison will make complete sense. Why wouldn't the entries for the glorious Starship Enterprise dwarf that for a dusty museum piece like the automobile? We expect the pages for hoverboards, robot maids, personal time machines and giant laser death rays to do the same.

For the present, though, why does a make-believe space ship deserve more words than the planet's principal mode of transportation? Also, why does that make-believe space ship deserve no less than nine separate pages, including unique entries for six different models of the NCC-1701? Seriously?!

Also less important than the Starship Enterprise!

• Planes = 5,132
• Trains = 2,850
• Boats = 1,884
• Bicycles = 5,112
• Motorcycles = 5,446
• Shoes = 3,241
• Lunar rovers = 1,844
• Space shuttles = 6,217
• Space stations = 1,830
• Outer space = 3,000

You think Hideo Kojima's cut scenes are long? Try reading Leo Tolstoy's epic tome. War and Peace was published in four books over five years, covers nearly a decade of history and includes more than 1,400 pages, more than 560,000 words and more than 3 million characters. It's generally considered one of the longest novels - hell, one of the longest things - of all time.

Somehow, though, the writers on Wikipedia managed to summarize the whole plot in 1,922 words. Well done! Now we'd be really impressed if you guys could squeeze the plot of a single damn videogame - even the rambling old man that is Metal Gear Solid 4 - into less than 2,548 words.

The top numbers (in orange) are for the entire entries. The numbers in the preceding paragraph, as well as the list below, are for the subsections entitled "plot," "story," or "synopsis."

Also less important than Metal Gear Solid 4!
(by plot, story or synopsis)

• Romeo and Juliet = 770
• Hamlet = 780
• Moby Dick = 845
• Of Mice and Men = 288
• A Tale of Two Cities = 1,341
• Atlas Shrugged = 673
• The Hobbit = 465
• Citizen Kane = 430
• Casablanca = 834
• Chinatown = 854

We won't get jealous and play the competition card here. EGM is important, a veritable titan of the industry with a massive and devoted following. Many of us here at GamesRadar include ourselves in that camp.

But come on... do the latest screenshots of Chun-Li's thighs really carry more weight than the 2008 election? Do you really need to know the review score for Turok more than you need to know the reasons for the recession? Is the dropping price of the PS3 more critical than the rising price of gasoline?

Yes, Electronic Gaming Monthly - and any videogame publication - is totally worthy of 4,429 words. We just wish that Time and other vital news sources received the same attention.

Also less important than EGM!

• Newsweek = 1,393
• USA Today = 2,685
• National Geographic = 1,949
• The New Yorker = 3,874
• The Washington Post = 2,449
• CNN = 4,281
• Fox News = 3,758
• "Magazines" = 842
• "Newspapers" = 3,537
• GamesRadar = 201

We love, love, love the soundtracks to Final Fantasy... but someone put way, way, way too much effort into this Wikipedia page. The intro alone is nearly 700 words, lengthier than the entries for many singers, bands and genres. Rock and roll, the biggest genre of them all, doesn't stand a chance.

Of course, the vastness of the web was made to hold such exceedingly niche minutiae, but even the fan who owns all of these compilation albums probably agrees that they could have fit onto the page for general Final Fantasy music. Unless that fan is the one who wrote this obsessive love letter to begin with...

Also less important than obscure Final Fantasy music!

• Beethoven = 6,268
• Mozart = 6,331
• Frank Sinatra = 5,743
• Kelly Clarkson = 5,849
• Amy Winehouse = 7,269
• Rihanna = 2,977
• Kanye West = 4,713
• Jay-Z = 6,658
• Nirvana = 4,157
• Radiohead = 6,495