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GamerBlips3. Disney's Extreme Skating Adventure
The marketing definition of “extreme”: Skateboards!
The reality: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4 with Disney characters. Apparently it allows you to “grind and shred from the real world into the movie worlds” and “pull off trick combos just like the pros.”
If it were actually extreme: This is yet another example of anything involving skateboards and embarrassing rock tracks being labeled “extreme” (thanks a lot, X-Games). If it were actually extreme, it would involve Bambi skateboarding away from angry hunters with jetpacks and flamethrowers.
2. Grandia Xtreme
The marketing definition of “extreme”: It’s not Grandia II!
The reality: What the hell can be extreme about a fantasy RPG? Are the gauges bigger and more red? Seriously, they’re all the same. Swords! Magic! Numbers!
If it were actually extreme: Instead of bullshit like “mana eggs,” the game would contain something vaguely original. “Oooooooooooooh,” and so on.
1. Extreme Sports with the Berenstain Bears
The marketing definition of “extreme”: Dirt bikes! Skateboards! Awww yeah!
The reality: Helmets!
If it were actually extreme: The Berenstain Bears would act more like bears in what would be a two-wheeled maulfest that would scare the shit out of Stephen Colbert.
Need more things in list form? Good, because we have a list of those.
Hear more on this week's TalkRadar.
May 19, 2008
