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The word “extreme” has been reduced to a mere excuse to highlight the letter ‘x,’ the reigning king of all letters. Just look at it, crossing out all the shit you did on your to-do list, always telling you where treasure and porn are. In fact, marketing schmucks love it so much, they figure it should never be anything but the first letter of a word.
Xtreme! Xtra! Xplosion! Xtra Xtreme Xplosion XXX! XXXXXXXXXX DEAR GOD STOP OMITTING VOWELS.
But “extreme” itself no longer means anything at all, not since some asshole started attaching it to every sport which involves doing tricks. No, eXtremeness is a mindset. The mindset that if the word is underlined with a big red stroke and slapped diagonally onto a box, a certain demographic will go ape shit and shoot magic money beams out of their eyes. Is there actually anything extreme about games labeled as such? No, and as proof, we’ve dissected seven of the worst Xamples.
7. Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball
The marketing definition of “extreme”: Boobs.
The reality: Busty women playing volleyball, a sport which is right up there with badminton and tennis in extremeness – everyone talks about what a physically challenging sport it is, but no one really gives a shit.
If it were actually extreme: It would be topless, and not a videogame. Either that, or the beach would be Omaha Beach and the year 1944.
6. AMF Xtreme Bowling
The marketing definition of “extreme”: We’re using a visual aid this time, because it's the only way to even begin to imagine how someone could think that any part of this game is extreme:
The reality: Bowling.
If it were actually extreme: An actual bowler might suggest that everyone would wear improper footwear and scuff up the lanes, hoh boy! We envision something involving cannons and a centrifuge.
