Quantcast

The Top 7... games that don't deserve nostalgia

Honestly, they were never that great in the first place

Words: Brett Elston, GamesRadar US

 

Just about everyone born in the '80s was plopped in front of a blurry monochrome monitor to guide a team of wide-eyed pioneers across America's dangerous, untamed western expanse. And we happily loaded our wagons, chose our professions and shot our dinner with cheery glee, ensuring that years later an entire generation would fondly recall its time spent on the dusty trail.

 

But in all honesty, the only thing more torturously boring than Oregon Trail was sitting in class on a bright spring afternoon. Which, obviously, is why thousands, if not millions of gamers and non-gamers chat about the game as if it were legitimately entertaining. In the end, we only have nice thoughts about it because it kept us from doing more homework. But perhaps that was the point all along - to make us bond over a shared traumatic experience?



This sums it up pretty well. Ugly graphics (even for the time), arbitrary restrictions and a seemingly unending wave of dysentery kept everyone but the most eye-bleedingly bored kids away. But the love rages on well into the 2000s, as evidenced by many geek-chic references to a game that seems hell-bent on killing you and your entire family.

 

Perhaps the world's only shirt promoting dysentery from BustedTees.

 

Oops, spoke too soon - 80sTees wants you to crap your guts out too.

A real-life journey to Oregon as told by Flickr user dweekly. Funny, that's the face we made while playing it as kids.

According to Wikipedia, the Only Source of the Internet, Harrison Ford had dysentery while filming Raiders of the Lost Ark, and presidential hopeful John McCain suffered from it while a POW in North Vietnam. Wonder what their thoughts are on "You have died of dysentery" as a pop culture meme...

 
7 Comments
key0blade - 2 months 21 days ago
I wish I had FFVII...
tehperson123412 - 1 month 26 days ago
and yet, gr wonders why there are 100 reasons to hate them...
Corsair89 - 1 month 17 days ago
Whatever. I still love FFVII.
ryzuku - 1 month 9 days ago
I thought FFVII was alright, and I love good RPGs, especially ones with good stories. But, I never understood why so many people held it in such high regard. I just didn't really enjoy it that much.
tehperson123412 - 1 month 10 hours ago
never mind my comment. shoulda actually SEEN the 100 reasons to hate gr. but still it's pretty hard to get away with a list like this
Stinger911 - 6 days 5 hours ago
Final Fight?! And then the article writer continues to blaspheme against one of the greatest genres of all time: the beat 'em up! Repent! Repent, blasphemer!
mrbutlertron - 4 days 15 hours ago
Some of those beat 'em ups were hella fun to play with a sibling or friend, but there's a reason Turtles in Time was 25 minutes long. There wasn't a whole lot of variety.
Related Games
The 12 most useless game trailers
360 Feature
Nov 18, 2008
The best dead things in videogames
360 Feature
Nov 18, 2008
Pistol Porn
360 Feature
Nov 17, 2008
New Xbox Experience Gets Branded Destination... N4G
360 News from N4G
Nov 19, 2008
Gears of War 2 tops Live play charts N4G
360 News from N4G
Nov 19, 2008
Championship Gaming Series Shuts Down N4G
360 News from N4G
Nov 19, 2008
Infinite Undiscovery Gets a Massive Price Drop N4G
360 News from N4G
Nov 19, 2008
Midway Releases New Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe... N4G
360 News from N4G
Nov 19, 2008