Quantcast

BMX XXX


The Top 7... games so bad they had to add breasts

This game's busted. Let's add some boobs

Words: Brett Elston, GamesRadar US

An overwhelming majority of gamers are male, so it makes perfect sense for every marketing team in the world to target their software at young guys. And what do all men ages 18 to one zillion love? Girls, gore and big loud machines. If they could make a game about a firefighting bikini squad that hunts down zombies in a decked-out sex/fire truck, world peace would be declared. But until that day, we have to settle with regular old T & A.

Developers are well aware of this, so occasionally you'll see a game that blatantly slaps blonde-headed skin all over the cover and on every inch of the game itself. Maybe the game was garbage and everyone knew it so they tossed in gratuitous nudity, or perhaps it's an all right title that just needed a little extra "oomph" for retail splendor. At any rate, these are the games that rely more on a nice rack than offering something new, different or fun.

First, some ground rules. We're immediately tossing out stuff like Leisure Suit Larry because it's designed from the ground up to be a raunchy, risqué type of adventure with little actual gameplay. Second, the game doesn't have to be terrible, it just has to use the sex angle in a shameless, obvious, overt way. Now on to the ladies!

Above: Divas. Punks. Cowgirls. We degrade 'em all equally

7 - Rumble Roses XX - 360

Millions of men watch a handful of men wrestle handfuls of other men every week. So what happens if you take the time-tested idea of the WWE and make it a girl-on-girl thongageddon? Why, there would be rioting in the streets, that's what. But for whatever reason, the sexed up rasslin' in Rumble Roses failed to move men the way sweaty men make them move.

Not wanting to stay down, the girls suited up for another outing in XX, ramping up the graphics and panty shots to a whole new level. It doesn't matter what your fetish is, your dream girl is here and ready to rub her hands all over your second favorite naughty girl. Suggestive squirming not enough? Roses lets you humiliate the other girl by pretzeling her into an extremely suggestive, compromising position that'll pop the zits right off a lonely teenager's face.

Despite the over-the-top presentation and unabashed skin show, Roses also happens to be a fairly solid wrestling game. The beauties move a bit more naturally than the porous monoliths of SmackDown!, so it's just as much fun to grapple a scantily clad schoolgirl as it to watch. But even competent play mechanics can't hide how hard this game wants guys to take notice, so it makes the list. Without the stage show, no one would have even offered a second glance.


 
11 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
NEOGILLZ  - 1 year 2 months ago 
I am so getting Dead Or Alive now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sean_raider  - 1 year 2 months ago 
all rigth
Signofthezodiac  - 1 year 19 days ago 
hmmm...
Hentai4Ever  - 11 months 7 days ago 
Na it's the boobs that makes them good. Many of my games are for the boobs! =D Dead or alive xtreme 2 is the best. Seperate movement on each boob. none better. =D
Tidus53  - 10 months 2 days ago 
yea... the average 13, horny, boy teen / lesbian market is gonna do will this year.
Tidus53  - 10 months 2 days ago 
okay... Oneechanbra is trying to get the average male. but i will not buy it. ( he says with a boner).
Tidus53  - 10 months 2 days ago 
dam u japan...
gutlessVADER  - 9 months 14 days ago 
titular
Corsair89  - 8 months 26 days ago 
I like Ar Tonelico and Ar Tonelico II. They are really good games. But, yeah, there is sexual innuendo EVERYWHERE! I AT2, the only way to level up the reyvateils is to make them bathe with each other. And in order to get the reyvateils to dive into each others minds, you need to get them to sleep with each other. Yeah. They may be fully clothed and not actually doing anything to each other, but it's one half-step away...

Oh, listen to the things you're reyvateils shout out in battle:
"Feel it on your body!"
"It feels good now!"
"Yes! YES!"
If someone walks in on you playing this game, they will probably think your watching porn.

But once you get past, or at least get used to, all the awkward sexual innuendos, they're both decent and unique JRPGs. Ar Tonelico II is better than Ar Tonelico in almost every way. AT1 is barely above average, while AT2 is amazingly fun.
KillerPotato  - 6 months 35 minutes ago 
nice
B2KSTR8RIPPIN  - 27 days 4 hours ago 
yer i have dead or alive! and do you no what the first thing i notised about the game was?.. go ahead.. guess!
Related Games
Rumble Roses XX
Xbox 360
BMX XXX
PS2
BMX XXX
Xbox
Gamecube
GameCube
PSP
PSP
Wii
Wii
Xbox
Xbox
Xbox 360
Xbox 360
PC
PC
Rumble Roses XX
Xbox 360
BMX XXX
PS2
BMX XXX
Xbox
Gamecube
GameCube
PSP
PSP
Wii
Wii
Xbox
Xbox
Xbox 360
Xbox 360
PC
PC