Sonic's having a lovely time running around in his last proper 16-bit game. He's collected lots of rings and is ready for a bonus level. Just a quick hop into the swirly star things above the restart beacon and…

Oh no! The game's crashed! The screen's just a mess of colours and glowing white orbs. But wait… this is the bonus level after all! And it's horrible. Everything's pulsating like the lightshow you get from a migraine.

How is this a bonus? Is the onset of previously dormant epileptic condition any kind of reward for collecting 40 rings?

Above: Technologically? Impressive. Psychologically? Debilitating

A simple equation for you:

Above: Play in a well-lit room and sit as far away from the nauseating game movement as the length of the (invisible) cable allows

On the subject of GBA games, while it does seem harsh to bash a technically underpowered console for its 3D efforts, there's no denying this is one of the worst-looking 3D racing games ever made. It sounds just like Sega Rally but looks like... a bunch of squares masquerading as game graphics.

Above:  The only game where sprites are higher res than the 3D scenery

We got to thinking about the conversion from Saturn to GBA and realised it must have been a very simple process:

That last bit was our reaction when we saw it.

The worst racer ever? The worst game ever made? Look - the timer doesn't even fit the clock graphic. The tail lights are following a few feet behind the truck. Oh, and last time we checked, supports for bridges had to be in contact with the ground in order to do their job. Big Rigs - you're definitely not 'winner'. 

17 March, 2009

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