
What they promised
An in-game engine that would grant the Force Unleashed’s world and characters a groundbreaking sense of weight and advanced physics-based gameplay, making us quiver in our nether regions at hyper realistic shattering planks of wood. The developers enthused in an early tech demo that the engine would give every character: “… a central nervous system. A brain, a spinal cord and even muscles. The characters will interact with the environments in high fidelity ways.”

What they delivered
Trees which moved and splintered a bit when you clattered 20 stone Wookies into them falls just a tad short of the Second Coming that was promised. And our pants remained mess-free for the entirety of this disappointing Star Wars slasher that in no way redefined in-game physics.

What they promised
An A.I. system that would constantly adapt to the way you played football. Konami boldly claimed on their European website the new mechanic would “ensure that the computer controlled opponents are always challenging and forcing the player to think and change their style of play to avoid being out-thought by the game. It will learn counter attacks that target your weaknesses and look to exploit any repetitive tactics players use.” Sounds a bit too much like Terminator’s homicidal Skynet A.I. for our liking.

What they delivered
The computer never adjusts to the way you play. Want to play down the flanks? If you’ve got a good enough winger, like Ronaldo, few fullbacks will be able to stop you, regardless of phantom A.I. systems. If it did actually exist, it was merely a buzzword used to describe next-gen PES’ rampant scripting, which has reached such levels that the computer will now score and tackle for you.

What they promised
That John Romero (everyone’s favourite sweary former id developer), as depicted on an early poster, was definitely '... going to make you his bitch'. Quite. Also, that he’d definitely manage to turn the game around in 7 months, just in time for a prompt Christmas 1997 release. And Daikatana would definitely run at 30fps with useful sidekick characters. Hell, the early ad campaign was so aggressively positive and keen to paint Romero as Jesus, Shigsy and David Bowie rolled into one ball of man-shaped awesomeness, you’d swear the shooter was going to be just as ‘amazing’ as its designer.

What they actually delivered
That definite Christmas 1997 release? Forget it. In fact, forget it even being released in the same millennium. Daikatana didn’t go gold until April 2000. Promises of a stable frame-rate also fell by the wayside, with the game frequently plummeting the unplayable depths of 12fps. Daikatana’s sidekicks also impeded your progress massively. The only truth in this whole sad scenario, which saw countless devs quit the project, while John hired his ‘soon to be a Playboy pinup’ missus as a level designer? Daikatana was an utter shambles
Apr 23, 2009

38 favourite bullshit PR cliches
Promotional crap translated into real-world truth
The most misleading game ads of all time
May not be representative of in-game footage...
The Force is overrated: FACT!
Oh yes it is!


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