We play a lot of PES. Hell, with the amount of man hours we’ve wasted playing it at lunchtime we’re pretty sure we could have cured world hunger, cracked the credit crunch and figured out how to fix the game’s wretched, pan-handed keepers. During that time we’ve scored a shedload of goals and clogged up a lot of space on our hard-drive by never once watching them again.

But with the new Premier League football season about to kick off tomorrow, we thought it would be a good time to finally put them to some use. So below you’ll find a few videos of all the best goals we've scored in PES 2009. Some are great, some fortunate and others seem to have pretty much broken the game on their way into the onion bag.

Screamers

The only stringent qualifying factor the following selection of goals had to pass was 'making us shout a bit loud'.

Howlers

The defensive f*ck-ups so ghastly, we’re pretty sure PES’ defensive code just gave up in the penalty box and decided to make a goal out of black magic and goalkeepers’ nightmares.