Welcome to GamesRadar’s tentacle-free guide to iPhone applications for anime fans. In it, you’ll find the most entertaining and useful iPhone apps for anyone interested in Japanese culture. That’s a nice way of saying that upskirt shots, nosebleeds, and other embarrassing moments are on the way. Yes, we’ve spent minutes of our precious time selecting the most fascinating and frightening otaku-friendly apps; but we’ve also handpicked several extremely handy learning tools to help you level-up your Japanese language skills so you won’t have to game like a gaijin ever again.

Caster

The world of Middon is under siege by an alien race and it’s up to you to help put a stop to them. You play as a freshly minted Caster, a sort of super soldier who can run really fast and fire energy beams from his arms. Caster’s story is pretty light, but it’s the controls that really make this action game shine; it’s the smoothest third-person shooter on the iPhone that we’ve ever had the pleasure of playing.

Above: Caster’s quick missions make it a good choice for a few short bursts of beam blasting while on the go 

Changing your direction on the fly, double-jumping, and dashing to outflank hostiles while peppering them with your beam attacks is a blast. Plus, there’s a nice variety of missions types, maps, and options for upgrading your Caster to keep things interesting. Unfortunately, there is no demo version of this app. But $2.99 is definitely worth the price of admission.

iBonsai

Cost: $.99
Download Link 
How much shame should you feel for owning this app?
 

Above: You can also shake your iPhone to simulate gusts of wind, causing your tree’s leaves to fall 

MoeSequencer

Make an under aged object of desire scream and moan to a 4/4 beat. Then look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how it came to this.

Above: Perfect for DJs and thirty-year-olds who never had a younger sister to molest, but always wanted one 

Above: Like most of the shameful apps found here, you need to hear it to believe it

Leaf Bound

Leaf Bound offers a lot for its asking price. This charming game charges you with hopping as high as possible while dodging an army of mischievous monkeys who are always trying to bring you down. The controls are simple. Just slide your finger back and forth along the bottom of the screen to direct your ninja girl as she hops from leaf to leaf while avoiding and stomping on naughty monkeys that get in your way. Leaping from leaf to leaf over the game’s colorful backgrounds is super fun. But the best parts are the boss battles. When was the last time you beat down a squad of monkeys riding a rocket ship made out of a giant banana?

Evangelion vol. 2 Clock

Is $2.99 too much for a clock? Normally, we’d say yes. But look at how awesome this Neon Genesis Evangelion clock looks! With a badass clock like this counting down the seconds to doomsday, it’s tough to not live every moment like it was your last.

Above: The Evangelion clock is pretty awesome. Did we mention that it also looks super cool? 

Animemory = Japanese Schoolgirls =

If you love generic J-pop and don’t object to the objectification of tender teenage schoolgirls, then Animemory = Japanese Schoolgirls = might be the best three dollars you ever spent. It’s a basic memory card matching game that reveals fresh prints of young girls experiencing the joys of puberty and the horrors of the male gaze. At the end of each stage, you also have the option to save the unlocked image to your iPhone’s Camera Roll so you can do god knows what with them later.

Above: Don’t mind us! We’re just watching you change! 

Above: “I demand to be taken seriously!” 

Above: “Oh! Hi, sensei! What are you doing in my house?!”