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Brutal: Paws of Fury - 1994
Think Enter the Dragon combined with Mortal Kombat and, well, animals. Brutal: Paws of Fury distinguishes itself by starring an assortment of anthropomorphic critters with names like Kung Fu Bunny and Kendo Coyote, ready to throw down and bust faces for fighting supremacy in an all-too serious game. Seriously, watch the intro scene we embedded from the Sega CD version. Apparently, there’s absolutely nothing funny about a bear dressed in coveralls, sprinting from a collapsing building, or that there’s a character named Dalai Llama.
Brutal feels entirely like someone’s shallow get-rich quick scheme. We’re sure the developers were banking on the fact that kids would be wowed by playing as animals and not realize the game is as banal as it comes - from the boring punch/kick gameplay to the incessant repeating “Ayyyyye!” voice samples. Had developer GameTech played up the animal angle a little more, like with balanced, beast-specific attacks, for example, then Brutal could’ve had a hardcore following. Instead, we get something that resembles a free Flash game and plays thrice as bad.
Above: Image courtesy of Servo
Metal & Lace: The Battle of the Robo Babes - 1993
This title is often described as “adult” or “erotic.” Even GamesRadar Associate Editor Paul Ryan knew that Lace - with its nubile anime girls and giant mech brawlers - was pure gold to a pre-pubescent boy. From what we can ascertain from the internets, Lace takes place on MeCha Island in the future, where your nondescript character must purchase robotic armor from a seedy dive bar to fight against Robo Babes - a lawless group of women dressed in mech suits.
And there’s your flimsy pretext for a fighting game centered on women growing increasingly undressed after getting armor knocked off - or so the ads seemed to imply. Instead, the actual fights take place between a handful of Sailor Moon-looking robots that never show any signs of damage. Defeating opponents on harder difficulties rewards you with “adult” images of these women. To repeat: after you beat up a woman, you get to look at a naked picture of her. As is the case with most of these entries, the internet and its vast collection of easily found pornographic material negated having to play woefully crap games for a hint of nipple.
