When a game insists on titillating us with a cute heroine and knicker flashes three times a second from the start, we generally get out the Crap-O-Meter and give the thing time to warm up. As ever, the readings shot off the scale, but with Nellis busy playing Miami Vice nearby ("I love it, but I'll never know why!") and Pete and Hoody locked in an intense game of Ludo, we had to give the game more of a fighting chance. And, wouldn't you know, it was worth it. The first level, you see, is about ...