Tomb Raider: Anniversary

If game characters were old

Solid Snake became a ripe old git – what if other characters went the same way?

Words: Tyler Wilde, GamesRadar US

What happened to Snake? With those layered and textured wisps of oh-so-touchable hair, that Rambo-ninja headband, and a perfectly landscaped maze of lovable facial scruff, MGS 2 Snake was downright dreamy. Several years and one blond douchebag later and Snake is back with crow’s feet and the beginnings of a Geraldo Rivera 'stache. If anything is suited for sneaking, it’s the varicose veins crawling up the skin stuffs stretched over his legs.

Most game characters don’t bother with ugly things like continuity – they never get old and they eternally wear the same clothes. But what if, like Snake, they were suddenly ravaged by Father Time? A dash of Photoshop reveals the disturbing possibilities.

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Sans her athletic physique and sex appeal, all Lara raids these days are aisles of incontinence products. Those once impossibly perky breasts have become gravity’s playthings, swinging around her navel like Droopy’s ears and snagging on untrimmed shrubs (which she complained to the city council about 16 times).

But it isn't all bad for the retired archeologist - she occasionally spruces things up by surviving nuclear blasts in refrigerators.

 
9 Comments
thorn05 - 1 month 11 days ago
Dats just nassssssty
Da-Ku - 1 month 9 days ago
Funny But Freaky!
Ninjagamer12 - 1 month 7 days ago
Gahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
bron1417 - 1 month 6 days ago
wow guys funny stuff but a little bit on the freaky side as well.
ClusterShart - 1 month 5 days ago
Lulz, tyler really liked the laura...
GamesRadarTylerWilde - 1 month 5 days ago
Old Lara rocks.
Nessrox - 1 month 4 days ago
Pikachu looked like he was on crack
G4M3_N3M3S1S - 1 month 4 days ago
lol old cratose was nast but funny.
Thewolfgirl - 9 days 12 hours ago
Wow. Wow. I have to gouge out my eyes at link. :O LINK WAS SCARY.

I Still Roflmao
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