Xbox 360 Reviews

Vancouver 2010 developer, Brit outfit Eurocom, have managed to perfectly reflect the public’s mood of total indifference with their game, and this is really the only score on which they can be warmly congratulated.

Featuring a stingy 14 events, only half of which are any fun to play, this isn’t what you’d call ‘good value for money’.

If it were possible to make a game out of the phrase “F**K YEAH!!!,” with the three exclamation points and everything, it would probably come out looking a lot like Vanquish. At least, those are the words I wanted to repeatedly yell (sans asterisks) as I drilled apart Communist robot legions with an assault rifle, executed countless rocket-powered knee-slides to escape massive chainsaw-shaped troop transports, and slowed time to gun down enemies as they roared overhead on an upside-down runaway monorail car. No other phrase quite captures the thrill of tearing ass through Vanquish’s overwhelming odds and smashing down robots dozens of times your size, unless maybe you throw in a few “grrrrs” and “rrggghs” for good measure...

The story of Violette Szabo, the real ‘Velvet Assassin’, is a deeply unhappy one. She was an Allied secret agent during World War II, but in the middle of only her second mission she was captured, tortured, abused and eventually executed. The perfect story, sixty-six years later, to make a videogame about then.

After sliding in Venetica's disc and watching through the opening cutscene, you might ask yourself: “Does this game want me to hate it?” While the answer is (most likely) no, Venetica often feels like it's outwardly trying to be bad. The graphics are so glitchy and poorly rendered that they would have looked terrible on the PlayStation 2 or GameCube, which could be excused if the game had any other redeeming qualities. Sadly, it doesn't...

Some people like car combat games. They’re weird folk. Attaching guns to cars is a fad that’s had its day. Even with the HD spit and polish Vigilante 8 shows its age, but it’s a decent, mindless rampage online for the converted.  As we say, some people do like car combat games, and this is the best one on 360.

There’s more chance of Andy Murray cracking a smile and sorting out his big hair than there is of spotting what’s new about Virtua Tennis 2009 when you first start playing. For the past ten years the series has consistently played an excellent game of tennis, and while the player likenesses get better and sharper, everything else has an air of ‘if it ain’t broke…’ about it.